Where the Honeymoon Waned.

Hastings Standard, Issue 125, 19 September 1896, Page 4

Where the Honeymoon Waned.

The honeymoon hal not yet commenced to wane, and they were in ! the habit of assuring each other every two or three minutes that their love could never die. " I love you," he observed. " I love you too!" replied she. A pause and an embrace. "I love you more than you do me !" he remarked. " I love you more than you do me 1" answered she. Another . pause and a still longer embrace. "I love you twice as much as you do me !" he said. " I love you more than that!" she retorted. "You can hardly do that," he said, with a fond smile, " because " " But I do," she interrupted, kissing him on the lips. " No," he returned, with a similar salute on hers; " you see, if I loved you twice as much as you do me, your love is necessarily less than mine, and " " Oh, no, it isn't," she pleaded; "it can't be 1 I love you more than that! "

" But don't you see," he went on, "if my love for you is twice—two times—double—your love for me, your love for me is therefore —by a rigid rule of mathematics (to say nothing of geometry)—just half my love for you, and therefore—Q.E.D. —less than my lave for you ! " " But it isn't so," she pouted ; don't be silly: "My dear girl," he said, a trifle impatiently, " how can you be such a —I mean ; now look here. Let X represent your love for me. Well. Then my love for you, being twice your love for me "

" But I love you more than that," she said, as a tear forced its "way out of her bright blue eye. " my love for you is therefore 2X. Now, what you are trying to prove is that X is greater than 2X (X being a positive integer), which is absurd on your part, don't you see, darling ? " " I don't care," she wailed ; " I love you more than that, and you're just as mean as you can be ! " " I'm not anything of the kind," he replied in an aggrieved tone. " Why don't you follow out my reasoning ?" " There isn't any." " There is." " But I love you more than that!" " How can you when " " I don't care. I love you more than that 1" « D !" " That's right! Swear at your wife ! Mother was right when she said " " Well, what did she have to say?" " She said she feared you were a profane and irreligious man." " Oh, hang your mother !" " Bao-hoo, boo-hoo !" And this precise point is where the honeymoon commenced to wane.