A Glib-Tongued Woman.

Hastings Standard, Issue 29, 30 May 1896, Page 4

A Glib-Tongued Woman.

At the Skibbereen Petty Sessions a well-known local tish and vegetable dealer, Hanora Hurley, a/ins " Norry Green," was charged with being drunk on the public street. Complainant stated there were six convictions against her within the last twelve months for similar offences. Defendant: " That's right that's fair ; that's correct indeed, gentlemen, and nobly and honourably have the penalties been discharged by me, both within and without- the prison wall " (laughter); "but I promise you, Mr IJecher, and o'l>onovan, and the Captain, and the Chief of police, and Head - Constable Clark, and all the smaller fry, that it will be ' Tib's Eve ' before the next pot of XX is engnlphed by me " (laughter). " The holy season is on us, and we'll go with the times." Chairman : " Was she disorderly '? " Complainant: "Your Worship " Defendant : " No, your Worships disorder is foreign to my composition. I had an attack of iniluenza in my left eye" (laughter), " and was recommended by the faculty to try some ' Old Tom in which I had the misfortune to indulge rather too freely. From that I went in for some old Jamaica rum, which had me topsyturvy when the sergeant accosted me " (laughter). ' What's up, Norry,' says he, when I replied,' Begorra, its nearly down I am,' says I " (laughter). " I then felt, as the Maltese say, mm-ami mar,,- coming on me, as between doctors' pills and tailors' bills my mind was upset " (laughter). " Pray, gentlemen, overlook this frailty of nature, and the next time I come before ye, ye can double it, as I know that day will never come " (laughter). " Do, darling geutlemen, do. and don't send me from my young children this time" (renewed laughter). Head-C'onstable Clark said a small fine would have the same effect as a heavy one, as she would do the same thing again. Defendant: " Exactly ; Mr Clark and I believe the same would apply to the case of Mr Yalliant in Paris—poor old soul " (renewed laughter). Chairman : " We'll adjourn the case for two months, and if you are brought up again you will be doubly punished." Defendant : " Exactly, sir ; our views of the case coincide for once " (more laughtet). " God spare you all, gentlemen, and health and grace and length of days, may God in mercy Grant you " (laughter).—Exit.