Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

Hastings Standard, Issue 25, 26 May 1896, Page 4

Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

Before marring +V question a girl ~ ; ,-t " r a is—" Do you maliy lo- - tt'j' •/ " A:, r marriage the <><_ -■ my bat on A ia«-u s: - sts that prescription.- simli cr.'ii;-;: to he written iu Latin. ouppose, to order to be consistent, that we take our Genesis and Revelations in the same way '? The same opportunities that make a lion of one man may only lead his neighbour to make an a.ss of himself. A great many people believe ill being just before they are generous; and it takes them so lon.g to be just that they never get around to be generous. Five men can easily hold down a lion—provided they keep on the outsid.j of the lion. Mother: " Why do you stay at home all :he time ? Have you no friends to vi--'t ? " Laura : " Ye,-, one, but I cannot endure her." .-n't be afraid of the man who and talks hit* in his own office. He only does that sort of thing because he daren't do it at home. He : " I hope you do not doubt the warmth of my affection for you?" She: "If you have any affection at all, ifc must be warm this sort of weather." The proprietor of the rope factory says that what makes it hard on ropemakers is that at least fifty men die daily of natural causes who ought to be hanged. Tender-hearted young lady : " 0 you cruel, heartless little wretch, to "rob those poor birds of their eggs!" Wicked Little Boy: "Ho that's" the old one "at you've got 011 yer bonnet. Guess she won't care."

The good people of a Texas town met one day recently to pray for rain. A slight shower fell the very next day. It was a shower of grasshoppers, it is true, but it seemed to indicate that the appeal was not wholly in vain.

Policeman (in citizen's dress, to brother officer in saloon ; Sunday morning : '• It's whisky, Dennis, and we ve got the waiter dead to rights ! Shall I arrest him now ?*' Dennis : '* * so ' h?t- s have a few more drinks Drst !"

A public reader says he has committed to memory more than 300 000 verses of poetry. We should regret ■his death, of course, but it seems a pity to lose the chance of get tin-,' so much rhyme out of the world at "one fell swoop. When a Japanese husband wants to compliment his better half he introduces her as "my fool of a wife." "W hen an American wants lo pave the way for a divorce or lose a few hand - fuls of hair, he will adopt the Japanese fashion of introducing his wife, but 9Qt before.