Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

Hastings Standard, Issue 24, 23 May 1896, Page 4

Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

A .soft answer is not in it with a soft snap for turning awav wrath. How near akin laughter is to tears was shown when Ruben*, with a single st ro ki: of Lis bru-di turned a laughing child in a painting to one crying ; and our mother, without being great painters, have often brought us, in like manner, from joy to grief by a single stroke. Little Carl, aged -four, had been severely bitten by mosquitoes at night. The following evening, after saying the usual'• Now I lay me," he asked his mamma if he might pray for himself. She readily consented, and Carl began, '• God, please don't let your ilios, bugs, mosquitoes, and hornets bite me any more, ' cause you know I'm only a little boy, not half-grown. Amen." V;.. v=... ; ~ • ' ; ..;! < i ' n ;• !v solemnly. •• Having pieaueu guuty to the charge, if there are in your opinion any mitigating circumstances, now is the time to state what they are." This is how a Chicago editor answers a poetical correspondent : Dear Meredith,—Your beautiful poem 011 the • Death of an Infant' has been received. and is now in the hands of a board of experts, it having already received the approval of the editor. Tbiexamination takes a world of time, but in these days of dynamite and acrostics it is safer and pleasanter for the mostenterprising editor to be six weeks behind than live minutes too previous. C'omprawney voo vic-b way le cliatte gejumpen '? " A good tale is told of a country bumpkin who once fell asleep in church. In the course of bis sermon on the future life, the vicar said, •• All who wish to go to heaven, stand up." The entire congregation, with, the exception of the unconscious slumbe rer, stood up at once. '• Now then " said the preacher, " all those who wish to go to hell, stand up." -Just then an old lady happened to drop a large hymn book, and the sleeper, aroused by the noise, jumped up from his seat, the congregation titte ring the while. After gazing around him vacantly for a minute or two, he gave vent to the following remark :—•• I dunno what we're voting 011, parson, but anyhow you and I seem to he in a minority." What the parson replied to this sallv is not mentioned.