BOWLING MATCH.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume IV, Issue 572, 19 February 1891, Page 3

BOWLING MATCH.

GISBORNE V.'NAPIEB. [By One ok the Glorious No. 2 Risk.] PERSONAL, SANS EGOTISM, Il is very critical and extremely dangerous at my time of life to change one's habits, to violently train for athletics, to abruptly excite the emotions, or have the system shocked by a sudden accession of wealth on the one hand, or to be caught in the act of robbing an orchard on the other. However, * one must follow his destiny,’ as my old friend Napoleon used to say, and when the mandate went forth that I should belong to a team of ‘ reps ’ chosen from the Gisborne bowling club to do battle with the older and Strenger and more experienced players of Napier, I bore it like a hero, and putting on an air of the greatest eauf! Jruid at my disposal, asked in what capacity I was expected to act. I forget exactly, but I think our President said you are to be a half-back, a cover-point, a long-leg-off, a skip-jack, or something. It was all the same to me what it was to be, because I knew nothing about the game just then ; I had to start to learn at once. I was informed that in bowls the training was the reverse of other athletic games. Tne correct form of bowls is a well-defined portliness oi figure, a decided profile of chest, to be substantial and sleek of person, with the wind short, husky and hard to catch, the pace slow, a stiffness and an imped.ment of the knee, and a slight Liverpool lurch and shuffle of the feet as the best dancers do in the Mabel Waltz. All these privileges were to be acquired by a constant attention to diet and a careful nursing of the system ; not less than seven nutritious meals per diem, an Indian chair on the verandah, to train early and late—that means to go to bed early and get up late—and so on. I didn’t know whether I should have fortitude enough to undergo such a system, but made up my to do or die, and I have succeeded—and will, Mr Editor, if not tiring your good self and your many readers—give you an outline of the trip end the jolly and hospitable Napier Bowling Club, the game, the weather, the sea and all that therein is. BOWLS V. TENNIS. Tennis players often fancy themselves smarter men in every way than bowlers ; they put on a highbred, shorthorn, tripleexpansion air, with a sugar-coated, hammerless, multimbular appearance, as they step into the arena and nod patronizingly to the men of tbe slower, older, and more dignified game, Tennis men are compounded out of Welsh flannel, cat-gut racket, and blue corded hat, and fiy about alter a rubber ball, vainly endeavoring to catch it in a butterfly net, whilst each of the four players utters a word peculiar to himself. No. 1 says’ Play No. 2 says ‘Fault’; No. 8 says ‘Vantage’; and No. t says ‘ Love all,’ and then they flit about like dragon flies, and volley and cut, screw and slash until the ball falls into the net, and they all agree, after a short dispute, that it.is game. Bowls is not a frivolous game cf this description : a bowler could walk round a tennis player, if the tennis player would only keep quiet. In correct training the bowler should average 16 stone, a grave stately broadcloth man, who will ponder well and truly for a time, with a liquum vitae bowl in one hand and a book of the rules in the other; will then take a steady aim like a Port Admiral looking through a wooden sextant; put on the exact bias, end shutting both eyes, like Justice, deliver the bolt without fear or favor, in a line fairly described as a parabolic trajectory leading to the jack. Sometimes: the jack is struck ; then it is called a toucher, and it is chalk-marked, and the man who has thrown it smiles ; but should it not touch, and. roll too far, so as to fall into the ditch, there is no smile, and it is dead, and the less said the better, like the burial of Sir John Moore, FAREWELL GISBOBNE.

At five o’clock on Friday evening last,the fast, favorite, and genial old Southern Cross club-hauled her anchor, swung her compasses, feathered her propeller, drew a long breath, heaved a heavy sigh, and began to trudge in the direction cf Napier. The evening was close and sultry, the decks were full of cargo, and the little steamer groaned under her many passengers, some of whom expressed a wish, at an early stage, that they had come by parcel post. The Gisborne bowlers were early aboard, and observing the prospect of being able to attack some bananas that were Stowed on the poop, they were all in the highest spirits. The Southern Cross is grave and solemn in her movements, no unseemly burry, no straining after effect, no grafting after the last attainable knot of speed. The engineer told me she would travel much faster, with greater ease, if it was not for the friction and resistance offered by the water, that in fact the resistance was inversely as to the square of the speed. I told him I would work it out if he would go down and put on a few more shovels of coal, and he did, and in a few hours we sighted Nick’s Head, and were flying past the surging waves with the speed, with the velocity, with the rapidity, of—of—with the wild rush—of—of—of—with the speed and the velocity and the wild rush of—of anything. Water is a curious thing to deal with ; if you agitate it much, a mist will arise from it, and then very often a rainbow. In our case the disturbance caused by our speed INDUCED A FOG to arise on Portland Island, which no doubt saved the lighthouse from destruction, for we should have run into it for a dead certainty if it had not been obscured from us by the fog. This will fairly illustrate my young friend the Emperor of Germany’s theory of tho destructibility of smokeless powder in modern war. The tall of the night when unadorned by the orescent moon is bad enough at sea, but now General Fog surrounds the ship, and the sweet syren, with her hot, steamy breath, shrieks to ths trembling air her warning notes every three minutes. The passengers have retired to their sardine tins below, all save a lingering few who are fond of music, and murmur a refrain over the echoing bosom cf the deep, leaning far over the rail, straining after effect—they might even be said to be COW straining after gnats, feeling as if they pad swallowed camels. True happiness reigns supreme. The wisdom of blowing the whistle every three minutes cannot be questioned, as it will give Portland Island time to clear out ct our way, and save the valuable lighthouse and her picturesque rocks, bluffs, and crags from being run into by the brilliant but unmerciful floating Constellation which we now have the honor to be aboard of, Balmy B{eep rests on opr dewy eyelids for spells of 21 minutes each, for a long, long-drawn eternity of night. I once slept near the perch of a powerful ring-tail rooster—but let us revert to pleasanter subjects. WELCOME MAPIBB, BUT NOT IK GLORY, Early on Saturday morning I came on deck to view Napier in all the glories of the rising Sun. There was no Napier, there was no rising sun, there were few glories; I observed a thin grey streak like a mirage through a rift in the fog under her forefoot. I feared it might ba land, so seised the man at the helm by the bind leg and awoke him, pointed it out hurriedly ; he rushed forward and awoke the man on the look out, who rushed aft and aroused the officers. We were near it, jolly Pesr it. The order was given to let go the anchor ) it refused to drop from the cathead, the fog was that thick. They thrust it down With marhn spikes, but the water was so Shallow that it would not sink. Here was a tjjee mqes, Blacked-eyed Susan was on board, so she advised the captain to haul in his anchor and ’bout ship. We back and fill, Now the fog arises, showing us the milkcarts flying along the white road, and now it settles down like the drop scene of hades. Jfhore was an Indephotigable Fatographer on board, who offered to perform a photographic operation on all hands. Pensive and sad they sat, but withal resigned, like the children of Israel amongst the builrushes, waiting for straw to make bricks with. At last the skipper closed his glass and said, ‘ Boys, I know where wc are now ; Napier bears B.W. by W. half W.—there is the end of the breakwater,’ This put an end to cur Wanderings, We were borne in through the tip, steaming head against the current iu

I grand style, and safely moored at Murray, Roberts’ wharf. A HE4RTY RECEPTION. The representatives of the Napier Clubs welcome. the Gisborne fellows on their arrival, in the most hearty manner, and conduct them on to their ground to have a little practice before the match comes off. The ground is nearly square, about £ acre, enclosed by a high wooden fence, splendidly laid out, and as level as a bowling green. An ornamental shed, with a flagstaff, is erected in one corner, and to it is attached a very fine library, containing the standard works of well known authors, such as Hennessy on Equilibrium, Walker’s Dictionary unabridged, Andrew Usher on the Water Cure, Swan’s Shove to Stern Patriots, Gilberd on Temperance. The books of the year seem to be “DeCantor O Wiskee” and “ Ghingerail,” both very fine works indeed. We are- each presented wi;h a copy of the rules by the genial President, who also grants us tho freedom of the library, and introduces us to all the jolly members; we soon become on the most cordial terms, and have a grand preliminary game. THUNDER—LIGHTNING FUNK, Alas I at 3 o’clock, when the muster took place for the match, thunder and lightning introduced an unbidden guest, the unwelcome rain. Our hopes were dashed to earth, and the faint hearted fluttered on the brink of despair. Fully an hour of misery brought us the reward of a respite ; the huge roller was once move squeezed over the green, and we had barely time to look up the rules hastily whilst the three rinks were formed. lamin a dreadful funk; not knowing the game, I fear I shall do very little execution, and whatever I do will be as bad as Kremler’s. Brilliant idea strikes me ; I will cram up the rules, and be able to talk wise if the worst goes to the worst; 1 will watch the game, too, as we play, and make a few notes. (To be concluded incur next issue )