A New Operetta.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 200, 25 September 1888, Page 3

A New Operetta.

BY “FANCY.” Act 11. Scene I. (Public place. Enter lawyers all wigged and gowned. Sing :—) We're a mighty grand profession, Nicknamed the “Devil's own On others’ troubles we subsist, We thrive whilst others groan. To depredate in certain ways, We’re privileged by law : And what some call by ugly names, Are slips and nothing more. Yes 1 we are a grand profession, Our clients know it well, Though what that knowledge them has cost; Their purse alone can tell. let Law.—Good news, my friends, I’ve lately heard, The Board their famous Act's referred Unto their lawyer, and you’ll see With what he says they'll not agree, For there's a lawyer on the Board, And when were lawyers in accord, On a point that’s worth disputing ? 2nd ditto—Do not think that I’m refuting The arguments that you adduce, But perhaps it is I'm too obtuse, To comprehend what you suggest. Ist ditto—Now it is very manifest, One lawyer cannot please them all, So others of us they will call, Each one's opinion to endorse. 2nd ditto—True 1 your reasoning has some force, A splendid harvest is in store For those who're practised in the law. (Singing)—May our olienst long continue With us to disagree, And call some other lawyer in Who’ll please them more than we.

[Exuent lawyers.] ENTER RATEPAYER. Brimstone and sulphur 1 what a smell, The “Devil's own,” I know them well, These vultures gather where there’s prey, I wonder what is now their lay, ’Tis someone's trouble I opine, But what care I!—it can t be mine. SONG (RATEPAYER). Everything is upside down. Parliament has doue ns brown, Harbor works have all been stopped, Rest of loan will soon be copped. Whether things will ever mend, No one seems to comprehend ; Even Graham our great M.P. Must admit that he's at sea. Only two in all thia rout, Seem to know what they’re about, Whitmore no more risk will run, Ormond's eye’s on number one. In this trouble what to do, No one gives the slightest cue, Everyone has got a plan, No one yet has found a man. Shall the poll be taken now In the midst of all this row ’ Or, should we wait to try it Till things become more quiet ? (ENTER MB GRAHAM.) Mr G.—My good man I do wish that you, Would take a calm dispassionate view. Of this all important question, I would offer this suggestion, Rush boldly in, eschew all tact, Let all your thoughts be of the Act ’Tie true it reads in vari -us ways, ‘You take's your choice, your money pays.’ Ratepayer.—You reproach me! Are you aware, I lay t/iis to yqur want of care, Your lack of foresight, which should warn Of what would do this district harm 1 Go sir I undo the work you've done, And until then leave me alone. (EXIT MR GRAHAM.) Ratepayer—A pretty man indeed 1 He taunts Me with inaction, and he wants The mistake he made repeated, But his wish will be defeated. Better men than bim I'll find, Who to results will not be blind; But who comes here? (ENTER A-B.N. AND W.L.F.) Well, gentlemen, What brings you here ? Do you condemn The Harbor Board, like Mr Graham ? Perhaps you'll unfold your little game. SONG (MR NEWMAN). I'm Arthur Bruce Newman, I’d have you to know; A brilliant sheepfarmer, A butcher by Co. An authority I, On matters mundane; I write to the papers Again and again, My grammar is faultless, My language sublime; They’re brilliant effusions, Those letters of mine. A Latin quotation, I interpolate, To show off my learning, Transcendently great. Ratepayer.—lf your opinion is quite right, You are indeed a shining light, SONG (MB FILE). I'm a knight of the cleaver, A don at my trade ; And though not a sheepfarmer, I'm never afraid To give my opinion on events of the day; That I’m File, William Lavers, no one will gainsay. Aa a working man’a leader. Great experience I've had. And delay in one's actions, I’ve ever found bad. The Board is inactive, let ita members resign, And appoint some fresh men, who'll keep up with the time. Ratepayer.—Much I must thank you, Mr File For your i l vice; but wait aw foils. “ More haste loss speed," the proverb saye, Then let us hope for better days, And meanwhile have more faith in those ... ~ Who'll do their best, let us suppose. (Exeunt.) End of Scene 1.