A “Di Lemma."

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 200, 25 September 1888, Page 2

A “Di Lemma."

GBANNY STILL WOOL GATHERING. Poor old granny has been getting some terribly hard knocks lately, and her medical advisers are afraid that she may take seriously bad with an apoplectic fit, or one of those painful complaints of which the uufortunate Sarah Gamp was always a victim. The other day granny got the spasms over he Kenilworth and exultingly asserted that the breakwater was that vessel’s saviour, and that she glided over the bar with nine lint of water at her disposal 1 She shamed the truth aad told the devil, omitting at the same time to tell what nearly happened to the Snark. Then she (gran) got into a muddle about the harbor difficulty and didn’t know which side to take, snd then ended by taking both, much to the general amusement. Well, well ; life went on, the Comedy nf Errors being only a plain comedy in comparison with this realistic scene, until soinenne drew on. his imagination in narrating the doings of certain ladies, whose courageous conduct it would appear would have shamed their slanderer. A “ lady equestrim," etc., etc., took " them to the other bank on the. appropriated steed," winding up with a a.vear in a foreign language „le grand dames." Ha Iha ! ha Kapai de Frenchman, put im pig fool all de tame. The poor comps score a point thia time. But the whole thing was capped by a witty correspondent sending tn gran, and requsating the translation of an old Italian legend—- “ Aidi deldi del Di oatanza fl del Di oougi umpo ve di mun,” etc. The. town was hunted for Italian dictionaries, everyone who was thou »ht to have smelt an Italian dictionary was asked bis opinion, even the very bearmen were mistaken for Italians; the excitement over the erg puzzle was in comparison just as a “ swift current, waist-high” is to the proveroial mill pond. The harbor was forgotten, and the leader-tap could turn out no hing bitter than the old controversy as to whether Gasparini could boast that he was an Italian or a Frenchman—by the way, not much credit to i j her. But it was all of no avail. Gasparini wac not the only gasper—he might have been fifty miles under the sea if only [the persop who a?lfed that Italian question had been with □in). We took pity on the old lady, and requested one of our clever cadets to take thq matter in hand. W nen he went home hi! mother tald him to mind the baby, dear. Like the good lad be was, he sat his mind to both tasks, and was telling baby all about what he had to do. “You ba nice leetle baosy wabsy now, while bludder helps poor old glanny—poor glanuy’a getting weaky weakee—baby might get sick and weaky.weakee soma day, and 'en it would like somebody to 'elp it and give it big kitsy-wisses and sugar aui nicey ting!. 89* n 8 t 0 I'j aQ A find out for «what ia the msamng of Aidt deldi del n '

“’Rayl eray!-Cow jump overmoon|" shouted babsy-wabsy, and Toby barked gleefully " Moly hoses,” yelled our satellite, “ baby’s got it I—that blunder-buster has boon making gnqtber bqsted blunder I—Hey diddle diddle, the oat an the the fiddle—Hurrah I hurrah I Good baby, kisi-kiss, I’ll get you soma sugar when mother goes out—good baby, good Toby—hurrah!”