Ormond Notes.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 196, 15 September 1888, Page 3

Ormond Notes.

AT THE RINK. [from our own correspondent ] “ There are mor? things in Heaven and earth, Horatio, then ar. dres.n.t of in thy philosophy.” Amongbt the many profound sentiments enunciated in his day by the mighty Shakespeare, none are more applicable to the philosophy of our own time, than this speech of Hamlet’s to Horatio. Man is essentially restless and discontent, but it is this very restlessness and discontent that constitute the lines quoted, a truism of the present day ; because it is thus that be is unceasingly discovering and inventing “ things not dreamt of” in earlier times. Locomotion by means of ■mall pulley-like wheels attached to the feet, and scientifically termed “ rinking ” may, I think, be considered the outcome of more than ordinary restlessness; and if the individual who first introduced it, could but hear all the mild (?) expressions of vexation and pain that it has given rise to, there is every probability he would •• turn in bis grave,” if dead, or if alive, die and be happy. I may be wrong, but such is my opinion, based upon a bitter experience. But I anticipate. I mentioned in my last that I intended acquiring the art of rinking. Well, I have kept my word, and, although I have the melancholy satisfaction of having added a little to my scanty stock of wisdom thereby, it has been at the expense of becoming almost a total, wreck, bodily. According to appointment, I called at the Chandos for Fagan, and after our usual refreshment (Fagan’s is always a pint of Crawford), we wended our way down to the hall, where we found Harry with one side of his mouth hanging considerably lower than the other, at the dullness of the times. Now, I bad calculated gaining admittance on credit—getting Harry to put my name on the slate for the amount—but appeartnees did not augur well for my being successful. However, I said “ good evening ” in my most dulcet tones, whilst Fagan, smiling as he only knows how, riddled up to Harry and whispered something in his ear. Suddenly Harry was seen to rise like a sky rocket about six feet (more or less) from the floor, causing Fagan to travel at considerable speed in a bee line for the door. 1 thought this very extraordinary, but on making enquiries I found that Fagan, like myself, had been trying to get in on '.he “ never ” by representing that he was “ atone broke ” until the “ cow calved ” (John, you must know, is a pensioner). Of course this explained matters, and likewise banished all my hopes ot getting in without paying, so I •• parted,” and was admitted. Fagan subsequently gained admittance by paying half down, and giving an i.o.u. for the other half. The next business was to get hitched up to the skates, and with a good deal of hauling and heave hoing this was done, when Fagan suggested that the first positioa was to turn my back to the stage scenery, and look through my legs at it, Now Fagan’s word is almost law to me, and I therefore made preparations to get into the first position. No sooner, however, had I bent forward than my heels wandered into space, while the floor played old Harry with my head, causing me Jo see innumerable and beautiful stars, It was some time before I finally sank at rest into the recumbent position, because, you know, one will try to save themselves as much as possible, and very often make things worse. But having come to an anchor and had time for reflection I became convinced that Fagan had been fooling me, and I am now thirsting for his gore. I wonder if he suspects—no matter, I will yet be even with him. I know a little atop of a certain drummer in the “ bleeding 11th,” who at a critical mor ’nt took shelter Inside the big drum. Aha I Fagan 1 ter-em-b’>e 1 But I digress. Has there ever been a time in your life, Sir, when you would have given worlds to have been like Robinson Crusoe, alone, and monarch of all you surveyed ? If there has, think of me and pity me. I didn’t somehow seem to mind falling; it was the getting up again amid the laughter ahd jeers ,of my fellow tinkers that embarrassed me so ; and I felt that I could have made almost any sacrifice to be the only occupant of the room. TO BE CONTINUED. Ballyaltikilligan.