Mickey causes a Divarshion.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 185, 21 August 1888, Page 2

Mickey causes a Divarshion.

HE INTERVIEWS A LADY. HIS IDEA OF A LADY’S QUALITIES. Really, despite all that we hear of hard times, there is occasionally a touch ot humor to cheer us up during the period of depression. The laugh may occasionally be at the expense of soma one else, but what matters that so long as that some one else does not partial!, iarly object to enable us to dissipate the pervading melancholia. It was at a dinner table, Timo, 6.80 last night, Enter lady of attractive appearance, and attired in a nice costume—politely takes an available seat alongside His Supreme Highness, M’Kee, the King of Tologa Bay. The lady seemed slightly taken aback at the august bearing of her table companion, but, as etiquette dictated, she retained her seat, modestly blushing as she observed M’Kee (familiarity is excusable in a vulgar newspaper) taking sly, if not rude, glances at her. But there was a peroeptible murmer and twitter round the table which to her was quite incomprehensible, and there seemed to be a joke into which she had not been admitted. All at onoe the King rose, his brow adorned with a judicial frown, but a kindly expression lighted up his twinkling grey eyes. Begorra, Missh (said tho Monarch), it is the flrsht toime Oi ever sat beside a lady in me loife, and I don’t know how I shall feel. (Sensation.) Lady looked alarmed, and began to fidget, but got a re-assuring nod from across the table, and one went so far as to tap his forehead, but at the same time indicating that the Coast King was harmless. The sensation had not transpired when M’Kee resumed; Well now, Missh, can yer milk a horse, ride a cow, or jump over a fivebar gate 1 (Muffled laughter.) Lady required further silent assuranoa to induce her to retain her seat. The Monarch was irrepressible, and continued : Well now, Mish, can you feed a pig— Ooh, yeh should see my waiheena feedin' the pigs 1 Do yeh ride ? Lady nods in the affirmative. Och, you do ?—and how do ye enjoy yerself when ye go ridin' ? Saints, but O’ll lend ye my old mohke ! (Several diners take choking fits, and it was feared medical or police assistance would have to be called in.)

It must be explained that the lady referred to is a member of the Hans the Boatman Company, M’Kee went on: I say, Missh, I’ve been reading a lot about yez — are ye going to dance on the toigbt rope to-night ? Begad, oi’ll go, that is if Murphy’ll give us a bridge up at Tolergah—there’s a meeting first, and if it’s over oi’ll come—l’m going home to-morrow and would like to see the dog—are you the lady whats found dead in the play ? (Roar after roar of langhter—exit lady, much amazed, M’Kee looking the picture of innocence.)