FLASHES

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 14, 12 July 1887, Page 2

FLASHES

Passed at last I Irish Crimes Bill, spite of Bill Gladstone, Parnell & Co, Well, num verroiu ce gue num verrom, shall see what we shall see. All the Crimes Bills in ths blessed world without Home Bule can't kill patriotic aspirations, . , Bless your soul what a gay time the lindl lords will have now they see that the Throttl'em and Shoot'em Bill is passed. Bide a wee my friends, and see how it works. Fifty Crimes Bills won’t finish up the Irish Question, and don’t you mistake it. German settlements in New Guinea going on badly. Bather 1 What with fever, snakes, cannibals and so on, Bismarck’s colonists will soon wish themselves back munching their sausage and drinking their Rhine wins in the good old Vaterland.

The Teutons are no good as colonists, ndr more are the ” frog-eaters.” A precious mess the latter have always inade of theif Settle: ments.

Canada they took and we grabbed, India ditto. New Caledonia is a convict barracks, and Tonquin a fever den. Tahiti they've made a Hell out of an earthly paradise. John Bull is the only real colonist and you can’t beat him at the game. Mr Hubbard has been raised to the peerage. Who’s he ? A son of Old Mothet Hubbard ? Well, not exactly ; he was one of the Tory me._ibers for the City of London—a good old sticker for Salisbury and coercion, a great man at city dinners and a grand Tory and talker after the champagne and the turtle and now, like Tom Bowling, he’s gone aloft. Verily he hath his reward. Anothet Gladstonian victory at Coventry, the city of ribbons and lacesfl arid watches and Lady Sodiva (vide Tennyson’s poems.) The G.O.M. has scored some points lately. Rather, he’s not played out yet. Those Tory majorities seem to be getting more reduced every division. Don’t despair of sesing the old wood-chopper in power again. Lively times in store for the Waipawa electors. Rechab Harding (that’s the Blue Ribbon chappie), Sutton the corpulent, and Baker the reduced are all in the swim. Captain Russell is likely to have a walkover, but Mr Buchanan is being brought for. w_rd to oppose Ormond. / lother man of pen and ink. Mr A. W. Hog,, of the Wairarapa Star is to be a oand ; - date. Good speaker, good writer, and A Protectionist.

Felix McGuire, who is likely to run Major Atkinson very hard for the Egmont seat, was once a policeman in Wanganui. Two Taradale (Hawkes Bay) women had a mill the other day. The fight lasted half an hour, and then the husbands came around and picked up enough hair to stuff a mattress with.

Napier Borough Council offer a flver to anyone who oan catch a boy using a shanghai. About time when one street lamp was broken 27 times in a month.

Matthews and Laing, exponents ol the HOW ignoble art, intend stripping for the cham: pionship of Maoriland and £5O shortly at Wellington. Hang the honor on a willow tree, they will both go for the CashHeard at the Supreme Court last week. Disappointed suitor regarding with dismay a brief of some 40 sides. ’• Calls it a brief " does he. Hope to goodness the bill may not be as long. What the Minister of Mines should know about sheep and rabbits is beyond our ken. but the two departments are now combined. The Auckland Cartridge Factory (Captain Wlitney’s) is the only one in the colonies, and, much to the Captain’s credit, Is run without a subsidy. Archibald Forbes places " Christchurch at the head of New Zealand civilisation, “ What does he know about it ?

Hall, the poisoner, is said to be dying slowly but surely from asthma. His win writes to him regularly. New Zealand has eleven telephone exchanges with 2079 subscribers, or more than all the Australian colonies put together, Yale College, U.S.A., has established a chair of journalism. This is an old battered affair with three legs and » broomstick, and filled with exchangee for a cushion.

Preparing for the Booahians I The ship Centurion, now discharging at Auckland, has on board £ll2O worth of iron shot. The Letterewe, now on her way to Wellington, has £9OO worth, and the Deva, for Dunedin, £8950 worth, That’s the way the money goes.

Owing to a new machine having been invented for dressing flax, a Wellington Company is to take up 6000 acres of Manawatu land for flax growing. The Evening Star (Thames) is poking fan at its contemporary, the Advertieer, for cribbing a leader from the Taranaki Herald and not acknowledging it. Strong attempts are being made to float Thames mining companies on the London markets.

One of the mysteries of the eeae is the disappearance of the Japanese man-of-war, the Unebi Khan. She and her crew of 200 men have totally disappeared without leaving a trace.

Nelson Bros., the Hawkes Bay meat freezers, employ 150 men. paying £BOO or £4OO a week or £25,000 a year. This sum does not include the office salaries.

Last Saturday’s Observer hae a curioas mistake. Under the births is inserted; J B aged 60. A pretty old baby that 1 1

The new East Coast Electorate includes * population of 6056. The Napier one has 7680.

Joolibrating the Celebree. A Maori wahina at Taranaki has given birth to a quartette of infants. The father is very “ pouri ” AVellington sends Home £350 for the Imperial Institute. The “ Queen’s Cadgers ” is the name given to the Jubilee beggar ladies at Home.

A seaman from the Tainui was caught by Customs’ officer at Dunedin smuggling tobacco ashore. Penalty £5 10s. The Hastings R.LI. in giving judgment in a case the other day said he must nonsuit the plaintiff, but he thought the Married W. .ie.i's Protection Act should be styled the “ Debtor’s Protection Act.” Many Gisborne tradesmen hold the same view.