FLASHES!

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 6, 23 June 1887, Page 3

FLASHES!

Fashionable intelligence: Sir Richard Dead Eye, K.U.M.G. (Knight of the Cheap and Muddy Glory), has arrived in town. Richardson v. Baird. The local man stuck up well to the “ darkie ” but had no show. Bee our special report from our special re. porter (late of Bell's Life). Have you seen the Mite ? If not go at once. Like all viitcx he's quite the cheese—the complete Stilton in fact 1 Talk about the Circassian Youth and his hirsute adornments. You should just see Mr Dickson's bearded mussel. It is ieelly a great curiosity, a beard as long as that of a full grown man, beautifully clean, each hair looking us if it had been combed out by our local barber. As a collector of natural curios Mr Dickson will soon rival Sir J. Von Haaet or Sir James Hector, He will have to be raised to the " becrage " as the Duke of " Argyll," The Herald the other night dismissed poor Baird in four rounds.

It took Richardson seven rounds to polish him off.

Our contemporary must have been asleep. Full programme Jubilee Fair in our Saturday’s issue. Boy wanted for an office. Apply at Standabd office for address,

If you don’t get your paper complain at this office. Of all the exasperating, careless young ruffians the average runner is the worst. We have beheaded two unfortunate youths this week and spisoned two, but still complaints coirie in; ...... „ We shall "Hough an Rats” the rest if they don’t improve. Harbour Board meeting to-rn’otrOw night, usual hour. Panama Canal not proceeding well. For some time past English papers have been saying the affair would hurst, but the Parisian Press were loud in praise of DeLesseps. Wellington is agitatiug for ft Free Public Library. It wants one badly ! The Herald reportef was evidently joolibating the celebree last Monday, How’s that? Why, after taking the Cadets right through the Bev. Luxford’s lecture he hauled them back to the Waikanae,

Is that all ? Oh dearno, he hadn't finished then. He went to the ball, and now the Druids want to knew whether their motto is " United to Save " as the Herald puts it, or " United to Assist ” as it ought to be. The Herald is progressing favourably according to the latest bulletins. Women’s Fund meeting last night. Next meeting 7th July. A worthy object. No toadying flummery this time but practical charity. We hope to see a big attendance next meeting. No dynamite at Home this time. None of the Russian business about John Bull, Rather not! Why if anyone had played the bomb business,at Westminster Abbey he would have been torn to pieces, and pretty small pieces too. Served him right. A Southern paper says the House of Representatives is composed of lawyers and pressmen. Ferrets have reached the Bluff. Several householders have had a number of their fowls killed by the little "varmints,” and are now getting nervous about the cradled babes. It is said that Sir R. Stout intends to deliver several speeches in Canterbury in vindication of the Colonial Treasurer, and to show that there is no division in the Ministry. In Wellington they have made arrangements for a house-to-house visitation to collect subscriptions for the Jubilee celebration. Four natives in a boat off the mouth of the Otaki, iu three hours caught one hundred and twenty-five schnapper and a large hapuka. Members have cheaply earned their honorarium of two hudnred guineas—something at the rate of twenty pounds a week ; and are quite ready to repeat the process. Rawiri te Mamaru, a Maori chief resident at Moerakei, died a few days ago at the age of 79. “ The Vagabond,” having attached himself to The Age, intends co enter the Victorian Parliament.