Hey Nonny Nonsense

Grey River Argus, 1 August 1940, Page 10

Hey Nonny Nonsense

THE REAL PUZZLE. Dad (showing incubator to son): “Don’t you think it is wonderful how tiie little chickens get out of the shell ? Son: No, but I’d like to know how they got in there. *•*.* * • . * Husband: “Go ahead and divorce me. But you’ll be missing our car and our servants.” Wife: “No, I won’t. When ny Lawyer gets through with you, you'll be missing them.” ****** First Man: There’s a fancy dress dance and I don’t know what to go as. It is' only a. small gathering. .Second Man: Only a small gathering, you say ? Yes.- Well, why not go as a linseed poultice ! * * * Dorothy, the little daughter of a tyre salesman, had seen triplets for the first time. “Oh, mother,” she cried, on returning home, “what do you guess I saw to-day?” “I can’t imagine, dear. What?” “A lady that had twins—and a spare!” ****** The tramp sidled up to the landlady of the George and Dragon and said to her: “I haven’t had a drink for days, would you let me have a drop on tick? “Certainly not,” snapped the lady, and slammed the door in his face, Another knock a few minutes later brought her bouncing back to the door. To her surprise it was the tramp again. ‘Wh‘at is it now?” she said. “Please, mum, could I ’ave a few words with George?” said the tramp. ***** Brown, who had been unemployed for a long time, was ordered to go before the Means Test Committee. The chairman went through the usual routine of questions and then turned to Brown and said, “Have you any other source of income?” Brown: “No, sir.” Chairman: “Have you any money in the bank?” Brown: “Yes, sir.” Chairman: “How much?” Brown: “Thirty thousand pounds.” Chairman: “Don’t be silly, my man, this is no place for being funny.” Brown: “Well, you started it!” * * * * * GOOD SPORT—One who will always let you have your own way ADULT —A person who has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle. CONSCIENCE—That part of the human psychic that is soluble in alcohol.

OPEN MIND—One that lets in so many ideas there is no room for one to take root and grow into a conviction.

PLAGIARISM —Stealing a ride on another man’s train of thought. HUSBAND—A miniature volcano, constantly smoking, usually grumbling, and always liable to violent and unexpected eruptions. OATS—A grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.