A TIME TO LAUGH

Grey River Argus, 21 September 1939, Page 10

A TIME TO LAUGH

“No”, said the proprietor of a wayside cafe, “I do not want any slot machines that involve gambling.” “That is quite all right,” replied the travelling salesman. “These are not gambling machines. The customer has not got a chance.’

Tourist: “Ah me, what a quaint little village you have here. Truly one half the world is ignorant of how the other half lives.”

Native: “Not in this village, mister, not in this village.”

Harrison was very proud of his golf, and took his mother-in-law to see him play. “I am particularly anxious to make a terrific drive,” he said to his friend, “there’s my mother-in-law over there.”

“Don’t be a fool man,” sa’d the friend. “You can’t possibly hit her at 200 yards.”

Famous Last Words: Hitler's last words, “Don’t let poor Neville starve.” —“Tribune.”

Sir Johiah Stamp, in a speech at the Chicago Club, expressed a hope that he wasn’t talking too long. “I wouldn’t like to be in the position of the parson,” he explained, “who in the midst of an interminable sermon, suddenly ,stopped to chide. ‘You know I don’t mind a bit having you look at youi' watches to see what time it is, but it really annoys me when you put them up to your ears to see if they are still running.’ ” —“The Laughter' Library."

A lot of motor accidents result from the driver hugging the wrong curve. ******

When Jack London was in Korea reporting the Russo-Japanese War, an official came to his hotel one day and told him that the entire population was gathered in the square below to see him. London felt enormously set .up to think his fame had spread to the wilds of Korea. But when he mounted the platform that had been erected for him, the official merelv asked him to take out his set of artificial teeth. The crowd watched