ELECTION QUIPS.

Grey River Argus, 3 November 1928, Page 6

ELECTION QUIPS.

SEE HOW THEY RUN. Reformers are now bolting like startled hares from a steam of hostile criticism.—Mr J. A. Lee, M.P. at Hamilton on Saturday. HOT TIMES PREDICTED. “Mr Coates has his coat off readv for the fray, according to tho latest Reform aclver isement,” said Mr F. W. Schramm, Labour candidate for the Hamilton seat, at Hamilton on Saturday “Well on November 14. he’ll have his shirt off, too. Tn fact.” he added, “he’ll find it so hot that he will have to retire to the shades of Opposition.”, NEW ZEALANDERS FIRST. “Do not mistake mo; I have the] greatest admiration for the spirit of immigrants. leaving the Old Country and coming out to settle in a new one. I came out here myself as an immigrant at, tho age of 15, and I shall never regret it.” This statement was made by Mr G. C. Munns, United Party candidate for Roskill, when explaining his party’s at itude toward: kind settlement. He said they believed now was not the time for bringing out immigrants. New Zealanders should all have jobs first. (Applause). HEDGEHOG AND THE HARE. Mr J. Munro the Labour Candida'e for Dunedin North, has not much to soy in favour of either United Party or the Reform Party. At a meeting addressed by him last week he relate ! a fable of a race between a hedgehog and ■a hare. The race was along trenches in a turnip field, tho leaves of the turnips overhanging 'he trenches. The hare was astonished to find at the end of the race that the hedgehog was there first, and he asked for another run. In the second competition the hedgehog was again at tho end of the trench firs'. The result quite nonplussed the simple-minded hare so the fable reads. He did not know that there was a hedgehog at each end of the trench. The speaker said he need not apply thc analogy further to the presen' election beyond saying that the Labour Party could be likened to 'he hare. It was being headed off by both parties. THE RETORT COURTEOUS. A student told Mr G. S. Thomson, a Dnncdin candidate, that he was sorry be could not give the candidate an intellect “Of course not, when you have no intellect to give.” rejoined Mr Thomson. “DRAGGED.” IS RIGHT. “The Prime should be complimented on the fact that he and his Government, in spite of adverse economic conditions had pushed the country along,” said Major Lambden in seconding a vote of confidence in the member for Kaipara at llelensville. last Friday night. “Dragged i' along, you m an,” came an interjection from tho back of the hall. “Yi's, perhaps ‘dragged’ is right-” re' plied the major. “He certainly had to contend with the mak< - weight of Opposition ‘intellectuals’ (or those whom he called ‘intellectuals’ in his recent Mas erton speech.), as well as the ‘ boom-and-bu ters’! ” A BIG THREE. “Uniteds, Rouniteds’ Bcnightods.”— Mr J. A. Lee’s descrip'ion of the history of the Uni ed Party, “t the Hamilton Town Hall on -Saturday evening. SUPER AND SOUP. “In 1925 ‘Our Gordon’ wan hailed as a super-statesman. To-night we know him to be a soup-kitchen statesman,” said Mr J. A. Lee, M.P. at Hamilton, in the course of an attack upon Loth the Reform and United Parties. “HOTCH-POTCH OF REJECTS.” “Why are you opposed t 0 Esperanto?” was the question propounded to Mr (). E. Murton. M.A., Christian Socialist candidate for Eden. “Because jt is an artificial creation that will never be able to compete for world-wide use with live and literary languages, such as English and was die reply. “Esperanto is a ho'ch-potch of rejects from everywhere—like the United Party.” PESSIMISTIC OB PROPHETIC? The United Party’s candidate for Waikato. Mr F. Lye, i: not very confident. At Waitoa on Friday he said there was no likelihood of 'ho United Party occupying the Treasury benches after the election, and it would be some time before the party’s platform could be adopted. “MYSELF, A GENTLEMAN.” Mr E. J. Howard (Labour) made some admissions about the Labour members, in Christchurch the other evening. “We were weak on the farming side.” he said. “We had numerous occupa' ions represented—printers, lawyers, a minor—all sorts of men. including myself, a gentleman.” “I am up every morning at six o’clock, and I work till I go to bed” declared Mrs C. E. Maguire, Reform for Auckland East in a spirited speech at NewmiaTkct. She said she wcnuld like to see some of those at her meeting try to do what sho got through. A voice: “How much land have you got?” Mrs Maguire: “Me I haven’t got any. ’ * “Then you haven't got a stake tho country.” (Laughter.) This new party was not really new, said Mr Tapley. They had seen this United Party under several aliases — firs’. Liberalism, then Nationalist, now United. Sir Joseph Ward’s £70.000,000 borrowing policy had not only excited curiosity, but set tho thinking electors by the ears and confounded even his warmest admirers. The sum of £7O - 000,000 was really rather tno modest for a resurrected politician. By the time the £70,000,000 was spent end tjie eve of false prosperity passed, possibly the Leader of the United Party would have no need to worry how New Zealand was going to get out o f thc finan cial mess which would inevitably ensue.

Speaking to an overcrowded meetin St Andrew’s Hall, Auckland, Mr J. A. Lee (Labour) said tho Coates “wave” had washed much queew

political flqtsam and jetsam into Pailiament. Elderly men of Victorian sentiment had been washed out of armchairs into the House, where they had bruised themseiv.es in trying to! turn the political clock back to their own periods. But at the m< meut there were quaking hearts in Reform homes, and many thc wife iif an elderly statesman would b warming the M.P’s slippers and making the aimchair ready again the h ; aith tliefie g mtlem'en were a 'le.'-.ora>.i< n and east an atmosphere of bliss over tho domestic scene, where they could air their views to the click of knitting needles. In Parliament they wcr • an anachronism. It was yesterday trying to govern to-day. Parliament wanted meu with eyes to the future. “The United Party is a ‘shake-up’ of rcsurie/ted Liberals, disgruntled politicians and others, chief.y differ mg from Reform in their readiness to boirojW a few more millions.’’— Mr A. H. Curtis, an Auckland Independent candidate. “They sit ther*‘. disgruntled and mumble away to thorns Ives day after day.” —Mr E. J. Howard, Labour, referring t) the attitude of three prominent members of tl‘;O United I’aity/n Parliament. “I would like Mr Archer to answer this question: How can he do thro? jobs—save souls; save the City, and save the country?” asked a young man at one of the Christ church Mayor’s meetings last week. XTr E. J. Howard (chairman) an >wered for Mr. Archer: ‘‘lb' says be can do it,” he declared. Mr Archar added that his Church had asked him not t'o s .ver his connections with it if elected. “1 make no apology for criticising tho Government- —a good policy is al ways worth good criticism,” said ah Bertrairt Bunn ,Reform candidate for Manukau., “The Oppisition has m policy so I have no criticism to oft'eT,” he continued. “1 have been an oiitiaiisCall my life, and 1 be.ievc in the cheerful ‘good-morning si>iri v ’ A Melancholy Voice: “Ami nc breakfast. ’ ’ What is the essential difference be tween Labour and anti-Labour. (ask d Mr J. K .Archer, Mayor <i Christchurch and Labour candidate f(.: Christchure.h North). It was the forest of th.- five per cent veisus th< interest of the, 95 per cent. Ami Labour stood for th in.liviilval •" group of individuals; Labour for thecommunity. Anti-Labour stood for he rigins of property; Labour for the righ s of th • people; In the eyes of anti-Labour money was supmu. : "• Labour’s eyes men and women aim children were supremo. Anti-Labom was the parent of war. Labour wa wojrld-wide in its outlook and synq-a thy and friendships, It wa. i h onh instrument for the e ishm-mt <»’ peace. “As you have changed your poii. ical opinions three rimes, will you tell us what you are going t > stand for next time?’’ was a question put to Mr G. McKay, United eandii.a.r for Hawke’s Bay, at his Hactings meeting. M? McKay repli d that he had. never changed the principles thal he stood fqr when he first sought e! ection. Another candidate for Grey Lynn. Mrs L'ouise Patterson, has enter 'd the lists. Her nomination was lodged with thc returning officer on Friday. She is standing as an Independent. “Thc country needs a change ot Government,” stated Mr C. A. Wilkinson, Independ nt. candidate for Patea, at Eltliam on Wednesday. “The Reform Geveruinent has been in p'ower for sixteen years. That is far too long for the good of the country or the party. The Ship of Slat 1 has become encrusted wiTh barnacles.” A va’ice: ‘‘Since you left!” Mr Wilkinson: “It is in fact waterlogged and the crow is not pulling well. ’ ’ Th?' voice: “You supported it fiftec 11 years ago. ’ ’ Mr Wilkins'on: “Y s a long while ago. It is time' the Reform ship was put in f o dry dock for rerepairs. ’ ’ The voice: “But jou were a Re former? ’ ’ Mr Wilkinson: “Everyone knows that. Give us something frosh. 1 suggest thnt a new ship and fr<sh cr w arc required,’