WEEKLY RAMBLINGS

Grey River Argus, 17 April 1920, Page 8

WEEKLY RAMBLINGS

(By "The Tramp.")

There is frightful trouble on the West Coast as to who shall take precedence at Prince functions. , I{. is hardly safe to mention Prince in some of the clubs.

That as soon «s the stuff gets a bit cheaper skirts will come down again. And time, too, for a. man cannot te.ll a fhipper from his wife's mo'-her these days.

Walking-sticks are becoming numerous amung tho womenfolk on tho West Coast. They 'were greatly in evidence at the recent race meetings.

The ladies, having got over the novelty of wearing pyjamas have got to Lhe s'-i'ge of smoking jackets! It will be sonic jacket "bethecr life" — something in bronze-green velvet with thinga-ma-jigs and twirbigigs sewn in the collar and sleeves, and a ducky silk, lining and a smoking cap with a sheen on it to catch the rose-coloured lights from tho shaded lights, and — an d — Oh! stop your tickling jock !

One of the little things that would give an economist a pain is seen in the licensed boolh at the races. The hectic punter rushes into the booth bcfcweeK races, sops up a "mejum beer" glass a ham sandwich, and wolfs it. Evidently the punter' teeth are none of the best. Three men out of every four throw the best part of the sandwich— d! he crust — away. In pvery corner tkcro are hundred-weights of •wasted fragments. The extreme restfulness of the gentlemen behind the bar — especially where the gentleman is of large dimensions delays the passage of the sandwich from palate to "tummy," and augments the heap of waste. A poor curate could livo for months in one days racing. As long as tho pork butchers don't get the sweepings and call 'em "sausages" — all right!

Tell you what I noticed at the. recent West Coast race meetings — the out and out punters, don't "drink." They may (after drawing a large "divvy"), indulge in "a poiiy shandy." but fc hey keep their intellects dry while the race is on. Saw a lot of the Greymouth "heads" backing outsiders and coming away with gloomy faces and only a few "quid" /left in the bank. On the flat there wa s a cloud of white handkerchiefs—for there was a fly plague even the starter had to knock away a fly.

One of the comical sUmts nijout tlio picnic ship "Mokoia" on her Samoa cruise was "washing day," for the grave legislators were their own washer women. On the whole, it is considered that tho Hon. Mr. Lee, iiv tho presence of a pair of socks, a washboard, and a bar of soap, is hard to beat. The general lack of starching accommodation on the ship resulted i ll a limp appearance among members tisunlty immaculate, and shirts covering breast that beat with fevour for their country were not always as creaseless or spotless as is usuaUy the case. No one knew- where Sir James Allen did his weekly wash, or whether his private secretary did it. It is possible, however, that the leader of the party was able to collect sufficient articles of wear before the voyage io render peisuiiiil application to tho wash-tub unnecessary. It is understood the. Government paid for the soap (soft ar.d hard) Uie politicians us«d.

To hear all sides is a plftn w e endeavour to live up to ; hence we are not deaf to the cry of a Government female clerk in defence of her own class. But iiv truth, she does not* improve her case. Such girls, she says, have been "so much maligned that it is impossible to get a job in a private firm."

his is almost a confession that her employment under Government has not been completely satisfactory, but *hat she was acceptable, more or less as a stop-gap, when the men 1 were away. And it confirms the view that she should now resume the occupation she held before war-

Commercial jtirave'lors ailp .notori-

ously full ol : pep ? vigour ? - vim, and other Lliings, and in .a West Coast town not so long ago four of thorn, probably held up by the "stale of the bar," had part of a '"day out." They were festi y e Within the bounds, of decorum, but in passing by the police station one of them burst away from his three coinymnions, and with a remark to the oflec that ho was ashamed of. himself, rushed across the road to haivd himself to tho police. A detective officer was in tho vicinity, and before ho was readied the three rescuers seized 'he reveller and boseeched him nob to hand lii'inse'.f uvcr \o justice. One of \he three produced HlO almost unanswerable argument to the defective :_Why— isn't HALF a s drunk as we ,are!" and the trio offered aaiy reasonable sum, security } deposit, affidavit, if the police wouldn't lock him up. The jnkcr thought the joke, had gone far enough, and sloughed off tho appearance of inebrity like a coat. The anger of the three when they found he had been jesting was not greater thai. their amusement } but next morning. "Suppose -he boss should hear!" was the uppermost thought in the mind of tho joker.

A Grejnnouth lady tells a tale: I was walking down Mawhera Quay the other d;\y with a soft goods emperor, and wo. were attracted by the exquisite appearance of a lady, splendidly dressed, beautifully booted, and conscious of it. 1 remarked on the beauty of her apparel to tho softgoods person. "Yes," he said, "the costume would cost twenty guineas, the hat six guineas, the boots four pounds, jewellery say thirty pounds, etceteras, say another twenty quid. "Must be rich," I said (We had. to :.'gftjshe, , w^y &" e 9sb. u9*

haughtily to speak to a pinched-up looking little cliap leading a small boy by the hand. The. man wore a frayed 1 suit of 1918, a greasy hat of the "rag" pattern, boots down at the heel, and patched, a leather watch string, a wisp of a We, ar 'd a celluloid collar. The boy was bare-footed, ar.d wore a pairpf pants with a patched seat -o them, a small, faded blue cap, and a jumper sagging at the neck and gone in the sleeves. "Fancy a fine liooking woman like that talking to a shabby littlo devil like the mar;," I said "Why rot " exclaimed soft goods — it's her husband, and the boy belongs Jo 'em."