THE BACHELORS DINNER.

Grey River Argus, 5 July 1907, Page 3

THE BACHELORS DINNER.

(By Benecfict)

The bachelors of this town held a dinner at 'Revfngton's Hotel on Wednesday evening, and as far as the dinner was concerned it was a,magnificent success. The object of the gathering was to show how happy a map could be tin single 'bliss, but, this proved a miserable failure. The chairman, primed well to his subject, dealt at length on the advantages of single blessedness. His eloquence rose to great heights in proclaiming the independence oiTthe brotherhood, and in language rosy and racy carolJ^d the courage of the heroes who TSui disdained the influence, of the fair sex. 'His voice was clear, but nis~" "eye sad. He reminded one of opportunities missed and neglected, and his eye was dimmed, with Jew drop's: >as he referrad' with hypocritical' emphasis to ;the single pleasures of the hear.h.. speecn'was a noble sacrifice of the true -feelings of .he man, and the applause that greeted his remarks were but the response of hearts that were either crusted with selfishness or had not felt the refining influence of the fairer sex. An olcl bachelor, who had lost in many a conflict, crowed bravely of his courage in attaining an old .age free from the fetters of. the household cares. He spurned the idea of taking urito himself a partner. Such would show his lack oif courage and call forth the breaking of the blessed ties of freedom. 'His memory carried him 'back ito his ■ earlier days, but his mouth spoke words of wisdom for the future. Woman jgas honored, not as the helpmate for these lords of creation, but for the weaker vessels who had . succumbed to her charms. It was delightful to know that in this •town there were men brave and true who »would stand fast to the faith and remain single to enjoy 'the quiet smoke, the humorous chat, and the freedom and liberty of life. Among the speakers were those who ed a good deal of oratorial powers. They wafted their sentimentis in a manner that would make one blush I with envy. They pictured the happi*ness of the bachelors until every one present admired the power of lying. They felt that they had sought such ■boasted happiness .and had failed, and yearned for the fulfilment of the saying that "a bachelor's life is a very happy one." Several i* the room were noticed to be extremely nervous. They shifted about ari^d could no^ eat or drink. 'Their countenances were sad with an evil foreboding. One of these gentlemen had just the night before .gone through a most interesting ceremony. His ..heart was gay, and the . castles were , mounting high in the air. \\His future was to be, one of eternal sunshine, . for he had found his kindred soul He listened to the horrors related of the married state," and become nervous. Surely it could not be true. He was .afraid to confess Avhat he had done, and drank in eagerly every word of advice offered. After sitting with a face of death-like ■pallor he rose to his feet, and 1 in "a voice of deep emotion 'swore to be true to the brotherhood, and rerhaia for ever one of the band of happy and conitented men. Songs were sung during the evening to infuse a 'ittle life into the proceedings, but ; even the charm of music failed to cleir away the clouds of disappointment and despair. -At a meeting held afterwards, wh«n ' the tongue was unbridled and the heart spoke its t-*ue feeling, it was unanimously decided tat the gathhering had been tame, unprofitable and devoid of p/?.istr:e. All agreed that bachelordom was a farce, and it was resolved to hold a ball, at which the ladies were to be invited. Experience is t noble teacher, and it is to be hoped that the bachelors will 'listen to her voice.