A CHApS' OF PENSIONABLE DISABILITIES.

Grey River Argus, Volume XXXI, Issue 5309, 2 October 1885, Page 2

A CHApS' OF PENSIONABLE DISABILITIES.

Mr Samuel Clemens, known to the ;po.lic.e'as' "Mark Twain;" has beenimdde the./yi.ctiitojjf ,anothe>mistake.vihonijiiine :20,/Ge*neyalßla r ck, r PensionComi|iissiorier, the- following- letter. ttdiSamuel Clements, Elma, N.Y., a pension appli!cant -:ir- :..>\\ ; . ■■■'■'„ ,.."'.!( Replying to ycur ,'iriquiry irelatiwlto your pension claim, certificate 297,520, it is proper to state that so much therein.aa is based on 1 rheumatism, piles, and soW eyes was rejected May 23, 1885;" on' the ground that there has been »o ; pensionable disability^ therefrom since June '2o,' 1884, the date the claim therefor was filed. . Instead of going to 'Samuel 1 ' Clements it went'to Samuel Cleraehs,' who remarked in his answer that though he .'tiad' ; often wanted a pension he had never.' 'applied for it:— ■ ' '■'■- »-■■"&:> " I haven't any veryperisionable diseases myself,"_ he went on, " buil^an 'furnish a substitute— a man 'who is 'simply a chaos— a museum of all the' different kinds of aches and /pains, fractures, dislocations, and malformations there are; a man who would regard rheumatism, piles, and sore eyes as mere recreation and refreshirient after the serious occupations of his day. If you grant me the pension, dear sir, please i hand-it to General Hawiey United States Senator. I mean hand him the certificate, not the money, and he will forward it to me. You will observe, by his' postal cardj which I enclose^ : tfiajb he takes a. friendly interest in the riiafter. He thinks I've already 'git the pension, whereas I've only got the rheumatism; but 1 didn't want that, I had 'that^before. I wish it was catchinsf." -i> !> What happened; after this is not known.