AMUSING MISTAKES.

Grey River Argus, Volume XXIII, Issue 3912, 12 March 1881, Page 2

AMUSING MISTAKES.

CHAMBERS JOURNAL.] Droll mistakes are of course endless. Here are a few culled at random : — A London paper gave an account of another case of mistaken identity in con. nection with a distinguished personageAn aged couple in high life who were celeb :ating their golden wedding, by way. of concluding the festivities on that occasion, adjourned with the children and thoir respective belongings to a theatre, in which to accoraodate so large a party two boxes had been knocked into one. The eldest son, who strongly resembles His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, stepped forward and occupied the centre seat with the ladies of the party beside him; upon which the orchestra struck up the National Anthem and the audience rose to their feet en masse, the innocently unconcious party of course doing the same themselves. There is no doubt that people of rather unusual proportions had an awkward time of it when the claimant was as large. A story goe3 that a corpulent gentleman once took a box at the Canterbury Hall. First one person then another ayed him, until at length the counterpart of the Claimant brcame the centre ot observation. A cheer arose, the singing was suspended, and an ovation was the result. The supposed Sir Roger rose, and bowed his acknowledgment. Buc this was not enough. He must speak. The manager announced that " Sir Roger " had a cold, and could not speak. Fearing the consequence, if the audience discovered their mistake, he had the " Claimant " removed as quietly as possible in a cab and sent in a roundaboute way to his] home. The intoxicated bricklayer who squared up to a post and maintained a one-sided fight, jjaffords an absurd illustration of mistaken identity ; but if we can rely upon newspaper reports, Buch ludicrous incidents are surpassed by what is said to have happened in the neighborhood of Morecombe. Some time agn the body of what was supposed by the discovered to be a human being was found lying on the beach near the place above named, having undoubtedly been left there by the receding tide. The usual preparation for holding an orthodox inquest was put in force and kept going, until the examination of a medical man proved the suspected human corps to be but the carcase of a monkey, which had probably teen thrown overboard from some ship, and which so closely resembled in appearance a human baing as to require a doctor to tell the difference. Such a mistake either looks like a gross flattery upon a dead monkey or an unconscious satire upou human nature, calculated to delight all believers in the Darwinian thecry. A not unnatural mistake was that made by the policeman who arrested a Dublin youth under what appeared to be suspicious circumstances. The young gentlemen referred to was at a party in the Irish capital, and joined with great spirit in a game of forfeits. Amidst the fun and merriment, it was proposed that to regain his forfeit he should pay a visit the lurf-s tacks on the adjacent canal bank and bring some turf iuto the room. Thinking only of the diversion that his return with an armful of turf would create, he immediately hastened to the place indicated, filled his arms, and was in the act of returning, when to his horror, he became aware that a policeman was in pursuit. Almost paralysed with f tight he dropped his burden, and awaited the officer's arrival. "0, constable," he stammered, " I've been playing a game of forfeits, and was told to bring some turf from the canal into the house. "Not a bad story ; but you'll have to come with me," declared the constable. There had been continued complaints of turf-pliferine; ; so regardless of his protestations, the unlucky youth was locked up for the night. The first intimation hia merry-making friends received off his whereabouts was when next morning they heard that he had been explaining the mistake to the presiding 'magistrate, who fortunately comprehended the case in a moment, and dismissed it. A misconception as ludicrous, but in which a policeman figured Jess creditably than the one just referred to, took place in the Isle of Man. At a Deemster's Court in Ramsay, a Jew was about to be sworn to give evidence. As Jews are always sworn on the Old Testament, and and not the new, the Deemster requested theconstabe in attendance to fetch an Old one. After a while that worthy returned and handed to the witness an ancient looking dilapidated book, which on being examined proved to be a New Testament. The Deemster's attention being called to it, he asked the constable why he had not brought an Old Testament, to which the innocent reply was : " Please your Hanor, it was the oldest one I could find." An amusing blunder was once made by a dyer, who was given by a farmer four flannel shirts to be dyed a fast grey color ; instead of which he dyed them blue. On wearing the garments, the color came out of them so that, as the farmer curiously expressed it, "he looked like a Red Indian ;" and as it cost him several shillings in baths to turn himself into a white man again, he sued the dyer, and obtained damages. An embarrassing incident we are told, once happened to an Englishman in Rome. Entering one of the churches in that city, as a service was going on, he sat quietly down, placing his hat on the ground beside him. Some little time passed, and as there seemed no immediate prospect of the ceremony to an end, he reached for his hat, in order to leave but was stopped by an unseen band, which grasped him from behind. Thinking some custodian of the church wished him to remain till the end of the service, he again wailed : but his patience becoming exhausted, he again reached for his hat, and again he was prevented from going in the same manner. Convinced that the service was some really important one, the Englishman once more delayed his departure ; but at the expiration of a quarter of an hour he determined to go In spite of etiquette, 'so he repeated the same manoeuvre in the direction of headcovering. A third time the sama hand 3efcalnod him ; but as he determinedly resisted its grasp, a voice behind him ex"--)laimed in English : "I beg your pardon, sut that Is my hat ye v are taking." Such

wag the fact ; he had been detained all this while because each time he had reacbod in mistake for the hat of another stranger placed in cloae proximity to his own. A mistake of an embarrassing nature made by a gentleman iv London illustrates the necessity of keeping a careful record of one's engagements. On the occurrence of a f grand day" at the Middle Temple, the Masters of the Bench were uneasy at the non-appearance of one of the guests, a learned ex judge. All had arrived but him, and the repast was ready to be served. His appearance was awaited with impatience ; and after the lapae of half an hour, the limits of endurance were reached, and the dinuer was served. The missing guest failed to apperr. But next day it was ascertained that the learned gentleman had walked into the hall of the Inner Temple, and had dined with the bencnera of that learned society, who had not invited him, and therefore had not made any preparation to receive him. It did not happen to be " grand day" at the Inner Temple ; and the unexpected guest never discovered his mistake until he happened to innocently observe to the Treasurer : " I thought this was your grand day !" The learned gentleman in question had originally been a student of the Inner Temple, which accounts in some measure for the mistake.