DIFFICULTIES OF A WOMB'S POCKET.

Grey River Argus, Volume XV, Issue 1951, 6 November 1874, Page 3

DIFFICULTIES OF A WOMB'S POCKET.

[danbuky news] The most difflult thing to reach is a woman's pocket. This is especially the case if the dress is hung up in a closet, and the man is in a hurry on such an occasion. The owner of the dress is in the sitting-room serenely engrossed in a book. Having told him that the article which he ia in quest of is in her dress pocket in the closet, she has discharged her whole duty in the matter, and can afford to feel crew. He goes at the task with a dim consciousness that he has been there before, but says nothing. On opening the closet door and finding himself confronted with a number of dresses turned Jinside out and presenting a most formidable front, he hastens back to say il which dress?" and being told the brown one, and also asked if she has so many dresses that their need be any great effort to Bndthe rightone,he returns tothecloset withalacrity, and soon has his hands on the brown dress. It is inside out, like the rest — a fact he doeß not notice, however, until he has made several ineffectual attempts to get his hand into it. Then he turns it around very carefully and passes over the pocket several times without being aware of it. A nervous movement of bis hands, and an appearance of perspiration onhis forehead are perceptable.

He now dives one hand in at the back, and feeling around, finds a place, and proceeds to explore, when he discovers that he is following up the inside of a lining. The nervousness increases, also the perspiration. He twitches the dress on the hook, and suddenly the pocket, while, plump, and exasperating, comes to view. Then he sighs the relief he feels, and is mentatfy grateful he did not allow himself to use any offensive expressions. It is all right now. There is the pocket in plain view— not the inside, but the outside—and all he has to do is to put his hand right around in the inside and take out the article. That is all. He can't help but smile to think how near he was to getting mad. Then he puts his hand around to the other side. He does not feel the opening. He pushes a little further — now he has got it — he shoves the hand down, and is very much surprised to see it appear opposite his knees. He ha 3 made a mistake. He tries again ; again he feels the entrance and glides down it only to appear again as before. This makes him open his eyes and straighten his face. He feels the outside of the pocket, pinches it curiously, lifts it up shakes it and after peering closely about the root of it he says, "By Gracious !" and commences again. He does it calmly this time, because hurrying only makes the matter worse. He holds up breadth after breadth, goes over them carefully, gets his hand first into a lining, then into the air again (where it always surprises him when it appears), and finally into a pocket, and is about to cry out with triumph, when he discovers that it is the pocket to another dress. He is mad now ; the closet air almost stifles him ; he is so nervous he can hardly contain himself, and the pocket looks at him so exasperatingly that he cannot help but " plug" it with his clenched fists, and immediately does it Being somewhat relieved by this performance, he has a chance too look about him, and see that he has put hie foot through a bandbox, and into the crown of his wife's bonnet — has broken the rim to his Panama hat which was hanging in the same closet, and torn about a yard of bugle trimming from a new cloak. As all this trouble is due directly to his wife's infatuation in hanging up her dreses inside out he immediately starts after her, and impetuously urgingher to the closet, excitedly and almost profanely intimates his doubts of there being a pocket in the dress, anyway. The cause of the unhappy disaster quietly inserts her hand inside the robe, and directly bringsit forth with thesoughtfor article in its clasp. He dosea't know why,, but this makes him madder than anything else.