HONEYMOONING.

Grey River Argus, Volume XIV, Issue 1694, 8 January 1874, Page 4

HONEYMOONING.

Ther foHowing amusing letter appears in the Daily News :— . " Sir, —^ToTUg^.ahpmely Americanism, I have 'stmck ile.' I am -spare your '-'■ rdadfert; iwill;ho'tfi-expectijme*a^ • gi#e the precise latitude and longitude of the y mp^py J -huritihg >grbiindfiin 7 . which l ! '.canlive luxuriously and pay next to nothing "J& weHrfbutf ■■Tm&i'&f 1 Vaua|ly' that at present I am in a,, district oJF the Lake Country, where 'we ' ' xhe : 'loveliest sceneryyand an occasional glimpse of the sun.'" A few days ago I was a lonely pedestrian,, toiling along with knapßack and .. „Btafl^..aTifl regarded. vyith_suspi£iori byhp t el waitersj who looked at my dusty boots, and wondered^HSKaeT I was a bagman.* --Now I-am *he centre and sun of a pleasant and fashionable, circle, overwhelmed with invitations to 'find dinners; arid boating excursions, and Saving altrf£ t a very beautiful time of it at no cost. Sir, the secret of the transformation •*7 :jfllsunply ! thk—l wandered': iby! accident into a n'e'iglib'dnrhbbd'thatds largely affecte4'!byjH&w,lymarrieA.(;ouple3. There are many such districts in England, and ('< thetdisri^particular hotels,--! indeed,' to" •which these young .people inevtiably go ; ' t «o .that any,one r who wishes to, follow my 1 exaiapje -may make the Jfexpernhep^/elde" where. 1 / 1 Ajrth'ai is hecessa^ry, 'is that you should 1>e a a modest Wd' mo'derately amusing v3sung-. fellow, not averse to ;c|gars or ' an occassionai game of billiards, and alone. When you J 6nce get anting these honey-; „ jmgon-rpepple, they positively Jay.hold of ' fc !j-,jy<)U ap'^'.aeyiqju'^yibu,.',] Tfiey hay^ gc>t spfrightfully tired of 1 the^busjuxesis pf , walk- (- ing hand-in-hand, and 'looking at the •ir,i moonjjpnd; saying /nothing, that^S^Jman being who can start the most trivial sub- ,"/ jffjtjof f.tajkj or make the poorest of jokes, . I qrido jjany;thiag;;toi pelieyei./ther frigfltful monotony experienced by the disconsolate! .gptiples. is • a' perfect godsend to them! Siry ybfr would Wot ! believe ! the ; gratitude. '■-■' that'^haye experienced in this hotel aT ' "Which 'V, am hoY staying. ; A few days ' ago . ; , I yfa» contentedly pounding my wdy alon g f,, the, road, .having done Something like ,'^ ; ye^'ty ( -twp ( !^iiles| arid; having other seven ' J to get over before reaching ]the hoj^l |]had fixed on, when I was overtaken by a gen-vi-i'i itlenian ,who was : driving: a little Stanhope ..jjjphtetony/iTherewasa him- a pretty yoxing things .mth'jl

boimet and a general gauziness and lightness of costume that spoke, of recent or-ange-blossom, bridemaids, te%rs, and tips' to mumbling old women. He was agoodlqflking f elloy- /enough 1 ; and drove -a - re-markablylliandsome-animal thai- was a. deal too fine in its paces^ for a rough country road. Both he and'she were looking rather glum and tired, I thought, as they passed.; .but they had not gone far when I perceivedHhat he : wa3 whispering something 'io 'her. ' She appeared eagerly to assent, and her face brightened. Forthwith he pulled up his horse and aUghted," and pretended ts.be altering the* bearing rein. "Vyhen I came up, he said, • Good evening,' ! reniarked that it was very warm 1 , the road was very dusty, and. might he give me a lift on my way 1 He was ; going to a certain hotelrrjit was the precise hotel for which I was bound; . . „ ■ <■ .« - c< You may imagine il had agood time of it during that seven mile's drive. # I nearly fell inlove with the young, lady myself,' sh'6 was so.kiud,' and ccurteous, andanxioijstp' .please.,, As ; fo^ her. hus- ; band, the 'pent-up- common sense v a whole fortnight now^ound veh^ and I discovered him to be a most intelligent fellow. What of the Government ! .Had Dr Kenealy finished his speech yet ] How about the Deerhound At? Hadn't I smokeoV any of Pedro : Murias's cigars^-not the other Murias? I must take this halfdozen to try them. It was as important to distinguish between the Wo^Muriais'as between the two Mumms. Talking of these two champagnes, would I join himself arid Bis vpi c at . dinner that evening ? They dinedV in their own room, as ..the table d' hote was too noisy ; and from the sitting-room which they had engaged there' was a beautiful view of the lake and the mountain opposite." There was a piano, too, in the room ; we might' havea little' singing/ As for the matter of dress, that f waßsh.ots&tp!< be; ; mentioned, ever' heard of. a pedestrian .carrying,^ swallow-, tail coat in his knapsack ? ' * Sir j jthat ; w as only the beginning of it. The hbtel was ; filled with -newly-married j couples. The whole district was swarming with.them. A modest man jiß^my- ? self Had. to go about most" nervously, lest s one should unawares run upon two people gazing up into the sky and reciting' aalter.r r . natelylpassages from Moore ; while you could scarcely walk ten yards in any'direction without your presence being the sig-. nal for an abrupt withdrawal of .an arm! from around a waist, and a great deal of confusion in consequence. That was only among, the? new- comers, be it 'observed. The old Stagers— those' , who had got through a whole fortnight or three weeks of it— merely, lounged about in a listless manner, all the ; talk gone clean out of them. It is very well to converse with a # girl at a dinner table for-ari bout about ■ nothing in particular, but how can you do it for a fortnight, before the real interests and occupations of married life have come to the front 1 ? It was pitiable to see those poor wretches. I found myself made \so much of that I had to apportion out my society. I now go for a drive' with one icouple,-and undertake the climbing of a mountain'with a second ; with a third. I go out in the lake in 'the afternoon^ and .dine .with. a ...fourth in. the., evening.. The odd thing is,, that. the honeymooners won't ass-ciate with each other. I believe they hate each other. You see tilings iwliich ar&g££jdght^Eor you, to. do look ridiculous, when^Unne b^y 'another person,; and why should, that' other ; persoh alway be before you to remind 'jrou -1 . Why do people laugh at 'the idiocies of the letters read in cases' of '-.breach,' iexcept that they knpw;they, themselves haye. 'written,^as and are , rejoiced to know .that they have not -been ■ found • out )>:■.■' lf I. were that fellow put there,' says one of my friends here, with- a contemptuous look, •I would take'xare that the 'boat was far 4 enough- away r from shore before going on in : that fashion.' ' A young wife of three weeks remarks, a? we are walking some consiiJerable, distance behind a couple in front," it is all v v.cry Svell tp go walking in the twilight,' but I j think that a young lady might as 'well '.remember that a, white sleev'eis easly i; seen against a black coat.' lam not anxious to . remove, these little . jealousies.' lam very comfortable here. V I fear, however, that one or two of these young wivts regard me .; with i some suspicion. It is true that on certain occasional miserable hpneymooner has been , so.glad to get a reasonable being to., talk to that he has sat up very late indeed in . the smoking-room, .Again, you wflrfitid, a man who .does hot wish to forget his billiards, andwMhasnothadhalf-an.-hour's I practice.lor.t]tie|las.t month. ,Is it to be wondered at that such" phrases as 1 Only .another: fifty,' ,pr> 'One.more garni,' are sometimes heard in the billiard-room someilittle. :time after most folks are' gone to bed ?.?jOf course, they blameit all '! on. me. I have no doubt that when my opponent ' t gets upstair wishing he did not smell so niubh ; of cigars,' he add his wife fall to abusing me for a good quarter of ! an hiiuri'and in a moment of weak' surrender" he finishes by swearing he will cut medead'ne^t '^'day. ! •ißut-,vnext day he is not such afool ; and' neither is she ; for she has got quite: enough' of silent drives ,-and jwalks, .and she is jiot,ayerse?st»; showing her husband, .quite, in a timid and innocent way, .that gentlemen still finds 'her 'society agreeable, even 'although she v is married; Thefwomenafe all' very curi'ous^ too, to know whether some young lady does not correspond with me. They are no* sooner married; themselves than they wish. to see everybody else inarried — whether' out 'of spite i or, generosity I dare nb't.ask'; '.'Mreadyl have, had the 'praises, 'of^v^ral ; yiaing ladles ' dharite" l : iii my' ears ; I -have been- showh their portraits; •arid va'.ue'h'ihts have 'been thrown out 'thatifi'happen tobe in this'or theother part of Warwickshire, or Hampshire, or Bucks, and if I greatly desire an introduc- : tiori to one -hi those 'charming girls, that could easily be' managed. Yesterday a delightful .young cireature of eighteen, who' has been iidarried just about as many days, . wished m^, ( in an excels, of good nature, to come/dow,n;'on'the first and ,have a fortnigKt's shooting with her husband. You should have seenher husband's face. But I let him off,, and.i hope he did not scolid the podr 'little' creature when he got * her •albne.-''^ !i - 1 ' '- ; '■>'■■•■■}'•' '• ■ ' *' ' : :' ; "X wish', Sir, that the honeymooning 'season lasted all the year round , and'that 3, BachSror_ unattached like myself could -transport himself from place to place, conferring innumerable benefits and reaping a fair reward. I am told tHat Dover, Hastings, Bjightori are very good for , this sort olthing in "Harch and April,' perhaps my, chief, may gQ&Q}g;.a fortnight then. Meanwhile, I am, Sir/ your obedieiit servant, -\,\ ,. , : / r "VACtTOsVIATOE.',,,: '' " P»ncfe'bf 'Wales 'Hotel^H'^g I"*'1 "*'