Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2702, 5 December 1882, Page 4

A critical gentleman, accompanied by a favourite dog, was visiting the studio of a Cincinnati artist. There was a picture on the easel, and the dog began to bark furiously at it. ‘ Nature may be relied upon, after all/ said the gentleman. ‘ The best evidence of the faithfulness with which you have painted that dog in the background is the earnestness with which my dog harks at him.’ ‘ lint that isn’t a dog/ said the artist, blushing; ‘ it’s a cow.’ The gentleman was nonplussed for u moment, but he quickly replied, ‘Well, the dog’s , eyes are better than mine; he never did like cows.’ An old farmer out west, living on the line of one of the recent railroad surveys and who is owner of a barn of large dimensions, with huge swinging doors on both sides, observed a posse of surveyors busily driving a row of stakes through his premises, which extended to the very centre of his big barn. Sauntering leisurely towards the trespassers with an air savouring somewhat of indignation, ho addressed the leader of the gang as follows: —‘ Leyin’ eout another railroad ?’ ‘ Surveying for one/ was the reply. Goin’ threw my barn ?’ ‘ Don’t see how we can avoid it/ ‘Well, now, mister/ said the farmer, ‘ I calkcrlate I’ve got somethin’ tew say 'bout that. I want you tew understan that I’ve got somethin’ else tew dsw beside running’ out tew open and shet the doors every time train wants tow go threw.’ jj£ ‘ How often does the ferry boat start ?’’ asked the lady. * Ivory fifteen minutes, mum.’ ‘ How long is it since the boat left here.’ ‘ Tin minutes, mum.’ Lady waits ten minutes, and then says, * Didn’t you say the boat starts every fifteen minutes ?’ ‘ I did, mum.’ ‘ Well, I have waited bore ten minutes since you said the boat had been gone ten minutes!’ Yes, mum.” ‘ Then how did you make out that it starts every fifteen minutes ?’ ‘ Why, you see.