JOTTINGS BY ‘CRINGLE.’

Globe, Volume II, Issue 116, 14 October 1874, Page 3

JOTTINGS BY ‘CRINGLE.’

[written tor the “globe”.]

Spare me, Mr hon. sec., spare me; but I suppose ‘ you must be cruel, only to be kind.’ How, my friend, lend me yonr_ ear for one moment, while I dig down a piece. You “ state” for my “ information” that the gentlemen forming the “ noisy section (of this more anon) were chosen at the monthly meeting. How were they chosen? Was it by ballot, or resolution ? Were their names canvassed in the usual manner, and were they the choice of the majority. Was the appointment made for a specific purpose; that purpose, and the names being duly entered on the minutes of the meeting ? Or were they ‘ self-nominated ?’ If the first was not so, and the latter was the case, how about the chosen by the sixty-eight, part of the business ? And now of the “ noisy section.’ Was it fair when a certain person read ‘ Cringle,’ at your late meeting, for that individual to try and make it appear that ‘ Cringle’ included the whole of the association in this expression ; or was it honest to single out an unassuming gentlemen, who had been requested to “make one,” and appealing to the best feelings of the meeting ask, if the ‘ epithet’ could with justice be applied to him ? It might have been an ingenious mode of ‘ fetching’ sympathy, but was rather a disingenuous one. And, by-the-bye, wasn’t the manner in which this was put more subdued than in his usual tone, and why ? Howmany, Mr hon. sec., does it take to constitute a “small section,” and you will remember, that was the expression used by me, But how is it my friend, that you omitted any reference in your letter to the expressions “we’ll make them do it,” and “they must do it.” Is there anything you could “advise” poor Cringle” about that? You will also remember the other day, that when the gentleman was diplomatically engaged in angling for sympathy, he said it was not for themselves, but for up-country friends, this boon was desired—and when some persons suggested that this being the case, a representation on paper would answer the purpose, you must have heard how the suggestion was repelled. And why, Mr hon sec ? Is there another “ particular case” looming, in which—when the desired result is obtained —the up-country contingent will be allowed to do a perisher ?” “I would advise Cringle to imitate them (the deputation) in at least one thing, viz., not to speak till there is just cause for so doing.” Now, Mr hon sec, in returning you, your ear (and thanks), let me ask you to take back, for home application, your well-meant advice, particularly the just cause portion of it; and “Cringle” will only add, that though he feels flattered at being even mentioned in such assembled wisdom, he will, if so desired, permit himself to be drawn out on this subject, and will promise to tone down his natural jocularity with a few hard facts, I know some who don’t admire the change from the old to the new. Oh ! for the good old times when business was done in a business-like manner ; no spouting, unless a real necessity existed, and all over by nine o’clock. It does surprise me, that some who know the value of money so well, should waste time in such an absurd manner, and without any occasion for doing so. It is enough really to try the temper of not only a “hick,” but of an “h’angel.” While strolling up the street the other afternoon, I overheard an individual who was walking with a lady in front of me, say to his companion, “Yes, and I have been surprised to hear that Miss is sometimes to be seen walking with very questionable characters.” As I had often had an opportunity of observing how much this love for petty scandal predominates in the lords of the creation here, I walked quickly past this addition to my list, to see who he could be, who was invading the always conceived privilege of the “weaker” sex; and judge my surprise to discover one of those goody, goody, men, to whom to smile is to sin; whose face always bears that dismal expression as if he were the fortunate possessor of a season ticket to attend funerals, and whom I had often heard dilate at tea meetings, on the very broad path that some, calling themselves Christians, were wont to follow; while he (good creature) religiously kept to the narrow one. “ Bright specimen to emulate,” thought I, “ a man who tries to injure the character of a woman, whom men who sing less of their Christian professions, feel it their duty to protect.” This was, however, but one more instance, that had come under my observation, forcing me to the conclusion, that for a scandal-loving-place, Christchurch is about the rosiest little City, ever I struck.

There are some people whom it is impossible to please, and a friend of mine is one of them. Hurrying up to me the other day he burst out with “Well, what about the Maori house?” “Well, what about it, I enquiringly answered? ” “ There’s a position for it,” said he, “blocking up a very convenient entrance, when it should have been about twenty feet further back. And who ever heard of a Maori house being erected on a concrete foundation?” “But what’s the odds, old fellow,” I may look a little different to what it did at Poverty Bay, but the concrete foundation won’t destroy its historical associations.” “Historical, your Grandma!” was his rude observation; who told you there were any historical (as you call it), or Poverty Bay, associations connected with it? That is all the fanciful delusion of a highly inventive brain. A few of the slabs, no doubt, formed some some Maori chief’s whare; but I tell you it is of Canterbury conception; nearly the whole of the carving done in Canterbury, after any design which might strike the imaginations of the artificers; is being erected in Canterbury, by Canterbury tradesmen, and won’t even have the redeeming qualification of being sightly; and, worst of all, will block up a gateway, that was a great convenience to visitors from the northern portion of the City. No, say what you will, (t is just one more of the few expensive white elephants that Canterbury may some day be able to jot down in her assets. “ Now in the name of pity what is it ?” “ And as to that site business, of course you thought that that was simply impromptu, coming out by the merest accident, at an ordinary meeting. Not a bit of it. There were a few who in view of expected arrivals, and the rninous delay that had already taken place, determined to bring down something definite on which they wished immediate action to be taken ; but when this became known, the site party pro d and con’d the matter; spoke of the Bill being only lost by a mere fluke; that the powers of the local legislature had been authoritatively defined, and they (the party) knew what that meant ; and after heads had been

counted, my boy, they came prepared, consequences, or no consequences, to delay the undertaking, until in solemn conclave, the “local” had again awarded them the coveted site. And this time the people be blowed. Yes, my boy, the thing was all arranged in clerical form, to give an air of respectability to the little game.” “ You don’t believe it; pshaw ! I thought you knew a thing or two, Cringle, but you don’t. Good day.” How about the horse feed ? It does seem strange that with an extra horse, more work done, and no decline in the price of chaff, the amount for this quarter should be less by so much, than the preceding ones. Perhaps it will come out right; but if it shouldn’t, I know one Finance gentleman whose fancy will be tickled. Acclimatisation —It will be interesting to all lovers of acclimatisation to learn that the long avenue of trees planted last season in the south park was eaten root and branch by the hares ; that the avenue had to be re-planted this season—a like result being also again anticipated ; and that hopes are entertained from the desire of change of diet now being shown by these pets, that the majority of the grown-up trees in the park will soon be barked to death. Under these circumstances it is gratifying to hear that the hares are rapidly increasing. I saw that at the last meeting of the society, the chairman complained of the action of the Domain Board, in placing men on to clear away the long grass, and shrubbery, thus destroying the breeding ground of the pheasants. When this statement was made, that gentleman could not have known that the Domain Board was only in existence in name, and that it was the Government who put on these men to do—-as I take it, good work, even so far as the pheasants are concerned; as if one of the species larrikin, who are wont to assemble in that neighborhood, were to drop a lighted match in the long grass during the dry season, the destruction to the increase of the pheasants would then be much greater than can now possibly be the case. “ Would’nt you like to know? ” I should indeed. I should very much like to know the fair writer of that note in Italian hand, who thanked “ Mr Cringle” so nicely for his kindness, and would like to see him on a certain evening, with her sister, and cousin, when another grievance would be explained. It was enough to, and so it did, make a poor old fellow hobble down in a hurry; and the greater the shame to make him exhaust his patience, with the fair Italian hand, and her accomplices no doubt grinning behind some window close by. Well, girls, like the boys and the frogs, it may be very good sport for you, but it’s catching cold for me. You’ve had the laugh this time, but when the Marquis arrives, possibly he may be induced to have a clause inserted in the Act, which will permit them to keep you working until ten o’clock; and if that don’t make you laugh, well, all I can say is, you must be very hard to please.