CORRESPONDENCE.
To the Editor of the Olohe, SlE.—There are pleasant lanes and bypaths around Christchurch where rural surroundiugs favor the rambles of numerous lovers and their swains. Few events as a rule occur to mar the ecstasy of the occasion, not even a blue coat with electro buttons showing up to remind one of Her Majesty’s gracious protection within four walls. But once now and then we are made to feel the imperfections of the district more keenly than is agreeable. 1 lately escorted a lady home from a church service rehearsal. I carried her music and umbrella ; she took possession of my arm, and we trotted along quietly in the mud until we came to the town belt, Cashel street. There we floundered through a small bog, amid smothered laughter from the rustics who farm the public at the corner. With boots full of water and filth I tried with extra care to select a clean and easy path for the lady, when one of her darling tiny feet slipped into a hole in the culvert, her delicate ankle became tightly wedged between two blue-gum battens, while the other leg made exertion to walk on. This position was ludicrously confusing, and reminded one of the Chelsea pensioner who stopped a crowd at the theatre by getting his wooden leg in a plug-hole, and could not get it out. But what is still more suggestive of the situation is a quotation from the Christy Minstrels ; “ 1 took a walk with Miss Juliana into the fields, She fell into a ditch and I could not get her out, for the broadness of her heels.” I dare say you know Mr Editor personally that ladies’ ankles are softer than timber, and unlike the nigger’s head, when he reminded a Paddy who let fall a brick on his head, and it split in two, that unless the latter was particularly careful he would lose all his bricks. To add to the dilemma, it commenced raining heavily, and in three minutes, after prizing the battens and releasing the fair one, I was squeezing the wet out of the tail of my coat, and anathematising road boards in a good round measure of language, more powerful than polite or elegaut. I now sit down to ask your assistance in soliciting the attention of road boards and lord mayors, to the employment of ragged schools, decayed scavengers, or penniless immigrants, to watch these culverts, crossings, and women traps, which abound in the town belt, and hoist the danger signal when
they sight a gushing couple of smart steps, and small feet, sailing along in innocence of the above dangers. Christchurch is really a credit to its founders, considering its low position ; and a very small expense would fill up the gaps, and unnecessary undulations in the roads immediately surrounding the city, and whether it be a man’s nose in a slimy gutter or a lady’s ankle in a defective culvert, it is no less the duty of a road board to remedy these imperfections, and especially during the winter season, Yours, &c., LOTHARIO.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Globe, Volume I, Issue 41, 17 July 1874, Page 2
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.