STRANGE EPITAPHS

Gisborne Times, Volume LXXXIV, Issue 12887, 13 June 1936, Page 9

STRANGE EPITAPHS

VICTIM OF STUPIDITY. THE DEVIL CJMEH “COME, HILLY, COME.” HUE YES HIS OWN HEAVE. epitaph lii) a tombstone at Ktha Noss. Shetland isles, reads:— DONALD ROBERTSON. Ham Ist dun., 1783. Died 4th June, 1846. Age 03 years. j “Ho was a peaceable, quiet man and to all appearances a .sincere Christian. His death was very much re- , grelted which was caused by the stupidity of Laurence Tulloek who sold him nitre instead of Epsom salts by which he was killed in the space of d hours after taking a dose of it.” * * • A hosier in Leicestershire, whose wife’s name was Hannah, died. She had inscribed on his gravestone:— “I leave mv hose and Hannah whom ] love To sing hosannah in the realms above.” * • * Here lies John Bun, Who was killed by a gun. His name wasn’t real I v Him. but Wood. Hut Wood wouldn’t rhyme with gun. but Bun would. At Molnsh. Kent : She was!. All! what was sin'? All that a wife and mother should be. That was she! * * * At Mold, Flintshire:— Life's like an inn where Travellers stay, Some only Breakfast and away, i Others to Dinner stay, and are well | fed. The oldest only sup and go to Bed. Long is the Bill who lingers out the day. He that goes the soonest has the least to pay. * * « Jn Norfolk:— . Poor Martha- Snell lias gone away. : Her would if her could, but her couldn’t stay. She bad two sore legs and a badisli cough ; But it wore her legs as carried her oft'. * * At Sheffield:— Here, underneath these stones Lies Billy Jones, The bailiff and the bum ; And when he died the devil cried, Come. Billy, come. ■a «- * Near St. Ives:— Weep o'er the fate of Mutliey Blight. Than him no man was stronger At morn, though sad to say at night He was choked with the bone ut a conger.

At Barrow-on-Ponr: — Here, in this Giave, there lies a taw. Wo call a Cave a Grave—it Cave bo Crave, and Crave lie Cave. Then, reader, judge, 1 crave. , Whether doth Cave here lye in Crave, | Or Grave hero lye in Cave; | If Grave in Cave here bury d lye, { The Grave, where is thy victory? Goo. reader, and report here lyes a » Cave, Who conquers Death and liuryes his own Grave. * » * An example of unconscious humor: Sacred Lo the Memory of Captain John Smith, Indian Army, Accidentally shot by His native orderly. “Well done, tliou good and faithful servant.”