GOLF

Gisborne Times, Volume LXXIII, Issue 11878, 24 February 1933, Page 7

GOLF

HUMOR OF THE; LINKS

EXPERIENCES WITH CADDIES

Here is a further selection of golfers’ stories about their humorous experiences with- caddies, the stories having been recounted through the columns of the London “Daily Express.’’

The beginner has much to put up with from caddies. The following incident. took place on a Scottish course. “I’m tired of your laughing at my game,” exclaimed the wrathful duffer. “If I have any more impudence from you, I’ll hit you over the head.”

“A’ rieht,” the caddie retorted. < ! But. I’ll bet you dinna ken whit would be the rieht club to dao if with”.

There used to be a quaint caddie at Musselburgh whose clothes were obviously gifts from clients, most of whom were: bigger than he. One day a new client took hint out and, as they .were starting out, asked his name. “ They on’ me Brooks here.” he replied, “but mn maiden name is Maegreegor."

As usual a heavy wind was blowing off the sea. This, plus a bad attack of slicing, did not improve my caddie’s opinion of my play. At the eighth hole, where rile least sAioe would end; in the sen. I topped mv drive into a yawning hunker. I turned to the caddie and remarked about my .rotten luck “Well, sir, T don’t know. At any rate, you’re safe in there for at least fivf< shots before you get to file sen.

Teeing off at the first hole, I sliced the half so badly that it went clean through the clubhouse window My caddie, a fatherly Scot retrieved the ball, and returned it to me, saving: “Laddie, laddie, ye can’t play von hole till ye’ve played t other eighteen. Number one lies over the brow of yon mound!” A player had been given a caddie who didn’t know one dub front another. and consequently banded out the wrong one every time. Oil the 17th tee a rnashie niblick was demanded and the caddie produced a brassie. The exasperated player snatched the rnashie niblick from the bag and roared. “Don’t you know what club this is? “Yes,” replied the caddie politely, “The Willingdon Golf Club, sir” a m » A powerful fellow who drove a tremendous length rated his cadd'e for nob seeing where the balls went. After losing several over a few holes, ho shouted. “These cost me 2s a time; if you lose sight of this one you’ll be sacked” Then he drove off again, the ball going on and on, and on. “Well, d’ye see where, it went? he yelled. ■ “Yus.” chirped the caddie, “aht o’ sight!” * * » In the county championship meeting the scoring had been pretty high. I, myself, had struggled round lor a. modest 83, and .cheerfully remarked to |my eaddio that it might ’- have been worse. “Och, aye, sir,” he replied, “Ye might, ha’ lost- your ha.” » * * ,1 wnA once playing a not, too scrupulous opponent, after a heavy showci. His ball and‘mine were both lying on the green, mine being palpably nearer the hole. “ >: ■ “Whoso putt?” asked my opponent. “Yours,” replied my caddie. But there was a small of water between his ball and the hole. ■ “What must T. do?” inquired my opponent. 1 ‘Move it where you like, not ncarei the hole,!’ replied the caddie. My opponent moved it, and was preparing to putt when my cncldie stopped’him and without moving a muscle of liis face, drily remarked : “‘ Beg pardon; sir, it’s the other gentlemards putt now.”