HOSPITAL COMEDY.

Gisborne Times, Volume LI, Issue 5222, 11 July 1919, Page 3

HOSPITAL COMEDY.

GOOD WAY-TO EFFECT A QUICK - CURE. i. STORY OF THE PATIENT WHO FLED. A good story is told of a remarkably quick cure effected at a hospital not one hundred miles from Gisborne. It is stated that a regular patron of the institution had been a man claiming to have something permanently wrong with one leg, but his actions gave rise to_suspicion that the complaint was not exactly as bad as it was made out to 'be. But, on the occasion of his last term in the institution—the date is immaterial —a scheme was devised to put him to the test. Now, it so happened that the occupant of a bed next to that of the supposed malingerer could bo trusted, and so he was “let in’ > to the pending joke. This • patient and a carpenter attached to the hospital, set about one day to discuss the ease with which amputations are effected, and the extreme comfort with which wooden limbs could be wielded. The regular patron “next door’’ became interested, and the two speakers magnanimously admitted him to the discussion, _ and supplied him with some interesting information concerning “cork legs.’’ He wa, s advised that the only proper, and the most satisfactory way of overcoming all leg troubles was to have the defective limb removed by. modern surgical skill and an artificial one substituted. Various kinds of timber were recommended, kauri being mentioned as a particularly suitable material for the construction of a wooden leg! This cheerful conversation proceeded for some time and then the carpenter turned over tlip blankets on the bed of the man with the injured leg—and nodded suggestively. When, however, the patient was informed that arrangements had been made for the amputation next day of the limb, his interest changed to agitation, followed by consternation. “I’m awfully sorry,” remarked the manipulator of saws and hammers in expressing regret at having been the causo of this anxiety, and said that lie thought that the patient had been officially advised of the operation which was to be made next day. There was ne further reference to the subject and the sufferer remained deep in thought for the remainder oi the day. But the . iollowiiHr morning, the day fixed for the deed, ho was up with the lark, or whatever bird it is which rises at 5 a.m., and was seen by one patient of the ward, who was, ’ by outward appearances only, fast asleep, taking his departure with all possible speed, consistent with noiselessness. He left no testimonial of his appreciation of the methods and system of the hospital, and since that date lie has not been seen nor heard of in the vicinity the institution where artificial limbs may he so easily and comfortably attached.