MAINLY FOR WOMEN

Greymouth Evening Star, 28 April 1937, Page 9

MAINLY FOR WOMEN

ITEMS OF INTEREST

NOVELIST AND MARRIAGE.

, VALUE OU' HAPPINESS

What is your idea of marriage? Do you think of it as the gateway to happiness, a new land where every day is drenched with sunshine? If so, you i will not agree with this challenging I article by America’s writer, Kathleen (Norris. Happiness, she says, is not found but made; and marriage has 1 not necessarily anything to do with it. j I “The darlings l —l hope they’re alr| ! ways going to be as happy as they 1 are to-day!” whispers the bride’s I mother, watching her little girl come 1 i down the aislo on the arm of the I young groom. I I “I think they will be —Dick’s such a j ! dear, and they’re madly in love with each other!” whispers- back the bride’s aunt. “Don’t they look happy!” Happy, Happy. The foolish word rules the scenes that follow. May they always be happy. We hope you are going to be happy. Everyone—even the most experi-

enced of the relatives I—speaks 1 —speaks of hap-1 pines, s exactly as if it were a com-! plete, concrete thing, tied up in one! more jeweller’s box. The novelty of it, the passion of | young love, the excitement of gifts and flattery, last for a few months, and indeed they are happy. And then the glamour wear,si away, and: the silver tarnishes, and the wedding cheques are spent, and they are not happy. It has all endedI—not 1 —not for any particular reason —and they are like bewildered children, not knowing what to do. “We don’t love 'each other any more,” they, say pathetically. "We are not happy!”

As if happiness were an indispensable element in married life. Mary carries the discussion of it to the next .stage, which is the ever-popular argument about the effect of an ulnhappy marriage upon the children of the household. “Isn’t it better,” asks 1 Mary, with thousands of other glib young wives, “isn’t it better to separate, than to have innocent children brought up in an atmosphere of constant, dispute and nagging?” The obvious answer “Must there be disputes and bickerings between decently ,self-controlled persons?” is passed over with superior scorn. Where did the deep-rooted superstition begin, that married persons aregoing to find happiness ready-made? Who, in this world, has a right to it without a slow, painful'struggle? When a scientist shuts himself up in a laboratory for years of research, when an explorer girds himself for a bitter trip into torrid or frozen zones, when a child is- born crippled, and some mother’s heart is chained to this suffering little cou'ch for life, we do not press upon them with, idiotic queries as to whether or not they are “happy.” Such a question would bej an insult.

MARRIAGE IS A JOB.

Marriage, humanly speaking, is a job. Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with it. There never was a marriage yet that could not be made a success, nor a marriage yet that could not have ended in bitterness and failure. So much good, so much bad, in the husband, the wife, the house, the children, the income, the town, the friends, the health and the assets generally of the new social unit. A little more hardship this year with whi.ch to contend, a little less next year. And at the end of 15 years, 20 years, success. A developed and ripened soul, taught where to find happiness, not .expecting to gather it out of the air. : That is marriage. Aud life.

Each and every one of us has one obligation, during the bewildered days' of our pilgrimage here; the saving of his own soul, and secondarily and incidentally thereby affecting, for good such other souls as come under our influence.

We know, wc older persons, that the motor-cars and wedding presents 1 and trips and admiration and excitemen are only will-o’-the-wisps that the children quite naturally chase for a few giddy years. Sulrely it would help them to find' the true secret if we dropped the consideration of “happiness” from our own problems,

and from theirs, where the big things l of life are concerned, and l gave them to consider instead the thought that real happiness must be made, not found, and that the materials l right in their hands at this moment arc its ingredients. Which is perhaps only to glimpse life truth of the stupendous words: “The kingdom/ of heaven is within you.”

A “DATE-MAKER.”

BUREAU IN UNIVERSITY

It is reported that the head of the [date bureau at the University of Toronto will shortly retire because the business of finding partners for undergraduates attending dances, movies and other social engagements does not pay at ten cents a time, and the undergraduate nurse will not bear a higher fee, says the “Manchester I Guardian.” It is a pity that the 1 apart, appears to have made a success ,of his job. By wrapping himself in a (discreet anonymity and advertising i daily in the University newspaper he ; has managed to attract as many as (fifty applicants a day at a time when I the date bureaux of many other' universities have been obliged to close for lack of support. Needless to say, he has gained a sound knowledge of the undergraduate taste in partners. He knows, for example, that, unlike their brothers in the world outside, university gentlemen prefer brunettes, that the brunettes and their blonde sisters, too, like to “date-up” with (students in medicine and engineering, land that, owing to the prevailing (slimness of the scholastic purse, most dates are based on a sharing of expenses. Like many of the retired great, the head proposes to spend his 1 leisure in writing his memoirs. They should make an interesting volume, and it is hoped that when his fortunes are established he will endow the great bureau at the university so that future heads of that institution may be free from financial embarrassment.

PAROA W.I. BIRTHDAY. A very enjoyable evening was spent • in the Paroa Hall on the occasion of . the fourth birthday party of the (■ Paroa Women’s Institute. There was ,• a large attendance of members and . visitors. The evening w’as 1 spent in competitions, games, musical- items, . and dancing. A nicely-decorated birthday cake stood in the centre of the supper table. A presentation was made to Messrs B. Sumner and J. Sneddon. The president, Mrs Coombes, on behalf of the Institute mlembers, thanked Meyers Sumner and Sneddon foir the help and support that they had given the Institute during toe past year. The presentation took the form of a pair of cosy leather slippers -each. Messrs Sumner and Sneddon suitably responded.. The results of the games, dancing, etc., were: —Musical Arms—Mr B. Sumner and Miss M. Coombes. Paper Race—First heat, Mr Sumner 1, Mr

H. Baker 2. Second heat, Mr C. Nailer I, Miss B. Woollett 2. Telegrams — Mrs G. Worsley 1, Mrs A. Coombes 2, Mrs Cox and Mr Sumner (equal) 3. Musical Hats —Mrs H. Baker *l, Mrs Sumner 2, Mrs Robinson 3. Straw Blowing (visitors v. members). —This resulted in a win for the visitors. Mystery Parcel—Mrs Robinson. Paper Arranging—Mr C. Nailer 1, Miss M. Coombes 2. Lucky One-step—Mr Sumner and Miss E. Spark. Lucky Waltz —Mr Sneddon and' Mrs G. Worsley. Lucky Spot—Mrs Coombes and Mrs Meade.

A tap dance by Miss Eileen Baker and a song, “Lullaby Land,” by Miss Lucy Hewison, were well applauded. The rest of the evening was spent in a good old-time community sing, dancing and several amusing games. Pianists during the evening were Mrs G. Worsley, Misses M. Coombes and E. Baker. On behalf of the visitors, Mr Sumner thanked the member for the jolly evening they hud all spent.