LIFE AS STEWARDESS

Greymouth Evening Star, 9 June 1934, Page 9

LIFE AS STEWARDESS

TALES OUT OF SCHOOL. The writer of the following article in the Brisbane “Courier-Mail,” is a young English girl, who signed on as a stewardess for the round trip, Eng-land-Australia, in order to earn a little much-needed pocket money. She gained her object—and some amusing experiences into the bargain. When I signed on as a stewardess it did not take long to discover that, life at sea is ruled by a rigid code of “what you may not do”; and of finding the best way of doing it without being found out by the chief steward. This functionary was generally (but by no means affectionately) known as “Uncle Joe,” and was the most inhuman man i have ever met. We were always on the look out for him. and his appearance was usually heralded by some steward or other member of the crew, -who would puss by with the -whispering warning, “The Chief!” But in spite of this we were sometimes caught, and summoned to the “office” to explain our conduct. 1 was “carpeted” several times for such ridiculously trivial offences that I plucked up my courage to reason with the Chief; but the only reply to these attempts I ever received was “get out!” At Sydney, a message reached me from him: “In case Stewardness —doesnt’t know—no leaning over the rail when the ship sails!” Now, to a. newcomer from England an Australian send-off was a wonderful sight, with its flowers and streamers and waving crowds; and 1 had not the slightest intention of missing it, whatever “Uncle” might say. So in spite of his threats I managed to take a whole roll of Kodak film over the side when he tvas out of the way! Several of us asked at Colombo for leave to go ashore, as there was no work to keep us on the ship. His reply was: “You won’t go ashore till you get back to Tilbury.” However, we otten managed to slip ashore without being caught, for a ship is too big to be policed by one man; and when we did of course, we enjoyed it all the more.

The climax came at Colombo, homeward bound, when we were so anxious Io see something of the wonders of the East that we determined to try once more to got shore leave. Several other stewardesses and myself waited humbly outside the office until “Uncle Joe” stalked out; but, without giving us a chance to speak, he dismissed

us with a curt "No leave!” I was so determined to fight for my only chance of seeing Colombo that I went to the purser, who listened sympathetically and arranged that the chief steward should at least give us an interview. We were duly received by Uncle Joe who told us with a great deal of unnecessary rudeness, that if we wanted to go ashore because we had nothing to do, he would find us plenty of sewing to occupy us. I had my revenge a. few days later through one of the children in the nursery, who bad an odd habit of biting!—her best efforts being directed against officers in uniform, whom she addressed indiscriminately as “Captain.” So. one day, when “Uncle” was doing his rounds, I whispered to her; “Look, darling, there’s the captain.” It worked like a charm! She dashed after him at top speed, and bit him fiercely in the back of his pants! LANGUAGE AND LAMBS. 1 shared a cabin with three other girls, who had a. wonderful flow of language and the loudest laughs 1 ever heard. From time to time they were given various articles of clothing by the women passengers; and one of them who bad been given a particularly beautiful nightdress, never wore it, but kept it well spread out on her bunk all day for the benefit of any stewards, sailors, quarter-masters, or others of her acquaintance who might drop in to see her. Actually she used to sleep in the same vest she had worn all day! She was "engaged,” and used to show us a gorgeous “Crystal I’alacy” ring; hut that didn’t prevent her from being extremely matey with one of the passengers—to say nothing of the varied acquaintance aforesaid. We had Christmas Day on board; and it was celebrated for the stewards by permission to sit down while they ate their dinner—-for the only time on the trip. Ordinarily they had. their food standing; but luckily this rule did not apply to us. We had a small messroom of our own. We had our Christmas dinner at night, when the purser “stood” us a drink all round. The messroom was decorated —mistletoe being the chief "motif”; and when we had all assembled the purser and Uncle Joe and the other "heads” of our department came round in iu'o-cest-ion. kissinc us all in turn! Then the stewards waiting on us kissed us. I he butcher, the baker, and sandlcstick maker —and any one else who happened to pass (he messroom door.

It was a perfect orgy of kisses! One of the worst deficiencies of the menu in our mess was a complete lack of fresh fruit, and we adopted all sorts of means to get it. (For is not fruit absolutely necessary to health?) We stewardesses would order it eveiy morning for all our passengers, whether they had asked for it or not; and that left by those that didn’t want it was ours! (though at the penalty of dismissal if we were caught). There were many nice women passengers who gave us fruit; one mother always left an orange for me every morning in her baby’s pram, so that I could slip it into my apron pocket when no one was looking. We used to get ice cream by devious ways, too. All that was necessary was to go to the pantry and order one “for a lady having her dinner in her cabin.” When we were in port in Australia we were ordered to a “sewing class” held every day on deck! The hours were 9-12.30 and 2 to 4. But I must admit that so long as no one was looking the work could hardly be called strenuous. The annoying thing was having so little time we could call our own. We worked for 13 hours a day on seven days a week; so we really felt, justified in slacking a little when it was merely a matter of sewing tapes on pillow-cases “to keep us occupied.” The trip was certainly an interesting experience; but as a cheap means of “seeing the world” a stewardess’s job is not much to be recommended; for I expect our “Uncle Joe” is pretty typical of petty tyrants in the same position in most passenger ships. I left the ship with few regrets—and its chief steward with none whatever!