MAINLY FOR WOMEN

Greymouth Evening Star, 12 August 1930, Page 7

MAINLY FOR WOMEN

ITEMS OF INTEREST

(Notes by

Marjorie)

HINTS FOR NEWLYWEDS. HEALTH AND HOBBIES. Happiness is a state of being . at once felicitous and strangely baffling. Science will never be able to pul up happiness in capsule form tor those who yearn for it. In short, one is cither happy or one isn’t; one's station in life has nothing wbatetei to do with it. and precisely how one arlives at the enviable state is ami always will, perhaps, remain a mystery. But some of its ingredients can be learned from the study in adult happiness which was recently completed by Dr Goodwin B. Watson. Professor of Education.

Dr Watson sent out a questionnaire covering a wide range of inquiry on ibc' subject to 400 graduate students whose average age was 30 ami whose answers were anonymous so far us an individual was concerned. _.j allowed them to hold their own opinion regarding the definition of that joyous state. The questions ranged all the way from asking whether the subject could easily dispense with playing cards ami automobiles to one inquiring whether he—or she —was easily shocked or not. Then the challenging findings wore brought together in the form of hypotheses. One of these was that happiness—that blessed state, which we all eternally strive to attain —is associated with “serious, deliberate, re sponsible, earnest, hard-working living,” rather than with “impulsive, light, amusing dilettantism.” This discovery alone ought to make, some people happy. No longer need they' envy’ those who 101 l on sunny beaches, travel through Europe, take Mediterranean tours or race motorboats. The hard-working stay-at-home can derive comfort from the fact that all this gay frivolling does not, after all, necessarily make for happiness.

It is encouraging to note that 81 per cent of the mon and women who answered the questionnaire believed themselves to possess more than average happiness, which is a pretty fail’ score in favour of the elusive and much-desired gift.

Besides those discoveries already mentioned, tho study of adult happiness brought about other conclusions, many of which explode long-cherished theories.

Married persons, for example, are happier than the unmarried. Disappointment in love is a. major' factor in unhappiness. Love of nature goes with greater happiness. Music and poetry tend to be refuges for the unhappy. Men believe themselves happier than women believe themselves to be. Intelligence has no relation to happiness.- Enjoyment of and success in work is a major factor in happiness. Youth is not the golden era of happiness. Discussing his survey, which has aroused widespread interest, Dr AVatscmi said: — “Several of the findings surprised me. I was surprised for example, to find that children of divorced parents were not less happy in maturity than others. One explanation of this may be that the divorced parents might have been more emancipated and thus gave their children greater free dom than that achieved by those who dwelt in homes where the p-arents were harmonious and remained together.

“I was interested to note that the unhappy, looking back over a stretch of years, felt that they were happiei during their high school days than al any other time in life. It was equally interesting to find that the happy believed they had been most unhappy during that particular period, so that the two extremes for once seemed to meet.

“There was a slight advantage in favour of happiness for those who had been brought up in small towns, rather than in big cities. An interpretation of this might be to the effect that the small-town children had better health, better playtimes and a more wholesome set of standards. They got hap pincss out of simple things rather than from excitement and more stimulating experiences.

“I was nor. surprised to find that fears, sensitiveness and shyness were major factors in unhappiness. Two surveys have verified tire fact that the .shy person is an unhappy person. “While it was found that there were more unhappy persons among the unmarried than the married in the adult happiness study, this may have been due to disappointment in love. The single persons may have compared their actual .state with their ideal one, which, if attained, might not. have proved so desirable, after all. But, living with unfulfilled dreams and ideals about a joyous stale which they did not. they fell, as if they had been injured by life. They may have magnified their unhappiness.

“jjocs one kiior. - , -efim uli. whethm or not one is happy or unhappy? How can we define the two slates? People may not always realise when (hey are fortnnalc, but tlicy do know whether they are happy or unhappy. No one else lias any basis for judging our happil’-ess except ourseivos. Wo may misjudge our own condition and station in life, lint we know when we uro happy or the opposite. “I should say that a person migli, be called happy if he. is cheerful most of the lime, has high spirits, lasting satisfactions and if his days are filled with interesting things. lie feels that, his health is good, his love adjustments are. sal isfactoi y, and his friends and his religion and his pastimes all contribute to his sense of well-being and contentment.''

Referring to olio of the. tables in liio study, in which relationship of aspects of happiness Io the total happiness : < or<: was dealt with. !>• Watson said.: ami hobby interest. : . it would appear, ;,h mere cjo'ch r> la,. r<| |<> bapp'oess atw.m ■. om- -n Ilian • inion:; npj.n. »Hld tJ' G.»*P l'? v ‘ . marriage, and vocation is more < ■l-iir l? i elat' d to the general Imppimiss ;ommg men than among women. ■'Normal and happy groups divided about sixty-forty in desiring the companionship of a desirable person of the opposite sex. Ninety-five per cent, cf the unhappy group chose the opposite sex. Thus it would clearly indicate that disappointment in love is a major factor in unhappiness. “Tim love element entered ilm situ-

“NAOMI.” THE WOMAN MONK. ’Naomi,” the woman with the shaven head, and wearing the habit of a monk, with knotted rope luiuid her waist, a crucifix on her breast, and bare feet, was charged on remand al a London police court recently with causing an obstruction. Her age was. stated to be Hi. ami shu refused to give any other name limn Naomi. She had said that she wanted to found a. religious Order and her complaint, was that the authorities of All Saints', London, hud icfused her admission to the church because* of her bare head, her bare feet ami her desire to adore the reserved Sacrament during the night. She was hound' over for a year. Naomi: May I ask what the wrong is? Magistrate: Acting conspicuously amt causing a crowd to assemble. You cun bo as religious as you like, him you must not make yourself a. nuisa nee. “If you have no surety you must go to prison for a. month,” he added. The woman crossed herself and with bowed head left the dock. /■ HOW DO YOU WALK?

A woman’s character can be told by her walk. A martial tread indicates the soldierly type of woman. An energetic spirit, lively tongue, and short temper aie indicated by quick steps. The fast walker is usually a bustling, busy person, a good housekeeper, and one who abhors dirt and dust. No tradesman would ever cheat her. A soft, timid tread is the step of the clinging, gentle woman, who relies cntiiely upon her husband. She will be essentially “feminine” and dainty. Turned-in toes indicate a preoccupied, absent minded person. Calmness and reflection are betokened by slow steps, either long or short. A proud and haughty nature is found where the step is measured amt slow, with toes well turned out. HENPECKED HUSBAND. “The only child and mother's darling grows up to be a henpecked husband,” says Dr. C. W. Kimmins, who recently investigated statistics and found that henpecked husbands lived longer than others owing to their sheltered existence.

One henpecked husband told him that he had been bis mother’s darling He. married a girl who reminded him of his mother. The- question then arose as to which should he the captain <>n the household’s bridge. She did not want to go up on the bridge, but there was no alternative, as the husband transferred his dependencse on his mother to his wife.

“He was not henpecked, but henprotected,” said the doctor. “Most henpecked husbands are hen-protect-ed.” '

alien in still another way. Love and harmony between the parents and between the child and his mother and father were greater in the homes from which tlie happy group came, though in the homo where domestic dissension existed divorce seemed to make for greater happiness foe the children or, at any rate, it was not a factor to be deplored from the standpoint of the children’s later welfare. Neither was the fact of a mother’s career.

“Se 11-cuiisciousness characterised the unhappy group. For some cl these tin- -.medy] cs w<>rc flic arts and alcohol. Alcohol was placed among the inm-i.sseiitmls by M2 per cent, of the ;;.vcrage of happy persons bin. by only 77 per com. of the unhappy group. Dances and parlies were important for the unhappy.” After id< niifying himself with eUi'T the h. ppy or unhappy groups, it is now uci-.-'ibl'.- fur the leader to employ remedial measures where liis own case is concerned. If he fits into the happy

•.■.rout) there is, of course, no need to do any doctoring. But if by chance lie is numbered among the unhappy, Im might try getting married, overcoming liis shyness, going in for tiie outdoor life or buckling down to hard work.