SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS

Greymouth Evening Star, 26 January 1929, Page 9

SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS

> UNINTENTIONAL HUMOUR

The schoolmaster’s job is not always so dull as some, people imagine, for in no other profession does one come across so many instances of unintentional humour. Take these: — The Plimsoll line is used on ships to tell the climate and the depth of water where the ship is. Nets are holes surrounded by pieces of string. it is is noon and the sun is straight above you, you are north. If anyone should faint in church, put her head between the knees of the nearest medical man. The lifeboat is wonderfully constructed, so that it can carry more than it can hold. ( A lunacy commissioner has to see that people are insane enough to enter a lunatic asylum. He is the commander of a lunatic. Psyche was a black boxer who fought Carpentier. Hall Caine is the maker of cricket bats (all cane). Julius Caesar was renowned for his great strength. He threw a bridge across the Rhine. The chief clause in the Magna Charta was that no free man should be put to death or imprisoned without his own consent. In the Five Mile Act no one who was a Catholic was allowed to go within five miles of anywhere, nor

might he he a teacher when he got there. Martin Luther did not die a natural death; he was excommunicated by a bull. James I. had a monopoly on all herrings brought to London. Soon after he died. By eating food slowly it is digest'd before it is swallowed, and thus enriches the blood, which goes down one leg and up the other. A mosquito is the child of black and white parents.