WIT AND WISDOM

Greymouth Evening Star, 29 September 1928, Page 9

WIT AND WISDOM

FROM THE AMERICAN PRESS. British physicians now claim that crying is good for one’s complexion, provided, of course, that one’s complexion is one’s complexion.—“ Detroit News.” , T , Among the workers for the Izaak Walton League are some of our most prominent church officials. Possibly hoping to develop a fish that won’t bite on Sunday.—“ Council Bluffs Nonpareil.” The new Oxford Dictionary lias 414,825 words. This includes all the known words in the English language, except the ones used by baseball writers. —“Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.” One of Rockefeller’s daughters has just lost a 7,000,000-dollar. suit. Women’s clothes cost something awful.— “American Lumberman” (Chicago). Chicago has inaugurated a clea.. movement, and robbery figures for the week show that the bandits are doing their share—“ New York Evening Post.”

Chicago florists do a business of 16,000,000 dollars a year, but of course some of the flowers are used lor. weddings.—“ San Diego Union.” When a woman driver sticks out her hand you know she’s thinking of doing something.—“ Council Bluffs Nonpareil.” Missionaries can explain their religion. The hard part is to explain their Civilisation. — “Muskogee Phoenix.” Romance to-day, says an observer, is .just necking. Shall we call it neekromancy ?— “New York Evening Post. We have our moments of depression when we actually dread the coming of the brotherhood of man, on account of some of the brethren we shall have to go around with. —“Ohio State Journal.” . . The best reducing exercise consists in moving the head from left to right when asked to have some more. —“Brooklyn Eagle.” The world’s star salesman would be (he man who could secure Mussolini’s

subscription to a success magazine.— “Louisville Times.” There isn’t really a war between Japan and China, which is quite a joke on the folks that have been kilted so far.—“ Dallas News.” Deadly gas floating over a city in time of peace may do more to abolish war than a cloud of treaties. — “Boston Transcript.” The other thing the stork is noted for is his long bill.—“ Arkansas Gazette.” Some men are known by their deeds, others by their mortgages—“ Wall Street Journal,” If the dance marathoners want a patron saint, there’s St. Vitus. —“New York Evening Post.” The new international salutation: Good morning, have you outlawed war?' —“Asheville Times.” The three creatures skinned to. provide the essentials of college training are the coon, the sheep and dad.— San Francisco “Chronicle.” The middle-of-the-road-policy is a good, one, unless you are driving an automobile. —“Asheville Times.” Radio ought to be a great success in China, as it is almost impossible t<> distinguish static from Chinese.-— “Arizona Record.” • America has more transportation facilities than all other nations, and more trouble thinking up some place to go.—“ Buffalo News.” Third party is planned—Hoad line. The usual course with a third party is that it is planned, panned and canned. —-“Arkansas Gazette.”