“SAYS SERGEANT MURPHY”

Greymouth Evening Star, 23 June 1928, Page 2

“SAYS SERGEANT MURPHY”

CRANKS AND LEGISLATION.

(By A. P. Garland.) “You, ought to have been at the Court to-day,” said Heddle, “to hear the Judge talking about backing horses and the way ” “Me?” interrupted Sergeant Murphy. “Me listen to a Judge preachin’ while I’d t!he form of the three-year-olds' to work out? Not on your life. There s no preachin’ Judge in the land has anny message for me. Besides, I’m sick and tired of the amachoor preachers that infhest this country.

“Whin I want a preacher, Heddle, I look for a clergyman that can tell me things that are for me binifit, no matter how little I like. them. But the judges, coroners, chairmin of permanent buildin’ societies, and the other fellalhs that withdhraw a sermon from their vest pockets on the smallest provocation —or none —get no birthday cards from me. “The curse of this counthry. Heddle, is that so many people have the notion that they are their brother’s keeper. Chuck a brick anywhere in the Sthrand and you’ll raise a lump on a man whose wan aim in life is to see that his fellow min are behavin’ the way he thinks proper. “Suppose an aiderman is invited to declare a new Savi’n Bank open. Without the slightest hesitation he releases a sermon on thrift ,and how the curse of the workin’ classes is improvidence, and what a divil of a fine fellah he himself,must have been to have put by three shillin’s out of the four a-week that he .threw as 'his first earnin’s It never occurs to him that the right way to declare a Savin’s Bank open is to say, “This is a Savin’s Bank, and I declare it open. If anny man denies it, me coat’s off to him here and now ’ Instead, he puts out his Adam’s apple and inflicts a sermon on the people that are too closely wedged together to get away. “Fellahs like that, Heddle, are responsible for all the rotten laws that intherfere with a man’s private life. They’re the min you have to thank for closin’ picture palaces and golf courses on Sunday, for crazy licensing regulations, and for the vindictive Bettin’ Tax that I'm glad to see isn’t goin’ to bring in half what was expected.” “Why is that?” asked Heddle.

“For the simple reason that they wint about it the wrong way. That’s always the way with vindictive laws, which mean crank laws They provoke people to ignore thim. “Mind you, nobody loves the bookie. No backer would have a sleepless night because a bookie’s knuckleduster diamond was reduced a. carat or two. But people have the feel in’ that the Bettin’ Tax, as it now is, has to be laid at the door of the cranks that no Governmint seems to have pluck enough to face. Now it’s bad Tor the counthry whin decent citizens are ready to break laws. It generally dhows that the laws thimselves are bad. How many clubs are there in London, Heddle, where a man who doesn’t shout his ordher too loud can’t have what dhrink he likes outside legal, hours? Not many, I’ll bet. “The country is sick of these pifflin’ Jaws that cranks have thrust on us. In Parliamint there’s enough serious work to keep politicians goin’ for years to come. But a bunch of thim are never happy except whin they’re dhragoonin’ us into bein’ good little boys.’’