WEEK-END CHAT

Greymouth Evening Star, 9 May 1925, Page 8

WEEK-END CHAT

— ■ " GRAIN AND CHAFF.

(By

“Mackay”).

“It is better for a city to be govern, ed by . a good man than by good * laws.” , J “Flattery is the praise we hear given * to other people. ” 1 “.Good nature never fails to pay < large dividends in good health.” t t “I wish I had a baby brother to ; wheel in my go-cart, mama,” said jiie Cowper Street lassie. “My dolls are always getting broke when it tips , over.” x ] • i The opening of the shooting season was possibly accountable for the following conversation overheard in Tai- ! nui Street: 1 “Have you ever done any ; ing?” “No.” . , „ “Then you haven’t missed npucn. Totara Flat farmer : “How d’ye come by that black eye?” The New Chum : “That old br.iudle cow had a way o’ flickin’ her tail in my face, so I tied a brick on to ir> A Cobden little girl came running to her grandmother holding a dry prest leaf obviously the relic of a day long gone by. “I found it in the big Bible, grandma,” she said. “Do you s pose, it belonged to Eve ?’ ’ There lives a young flapper in Brunner,

Referred to by Grey boys as ‘ stunner, Her skirts may be shorter, Than perhaps" they oughter, But this sin doesn’t make the boys shun her. When discussing projects to raise money for the No. 1 Qugen Carnival Fund, one High Street girl said : “I’m going to sell kisses at the next function. Do you think five shillings each is too much to charge for them ? ’ “No. People expect to get cheated at these affairs,” replied her dearest friend. ( At the vaudeville trials at the Town Hall recently, Mr Healy was told by and almbitious young man. “You have tried my voice. I want you to teil me just what it is best adapted to.” And without a moment’s hesitation the answer came: “Whispering. ’ Jack Steql was surprised one day this week when a stranger rushed up to him and insisted upon shaking hands. Steel said there must be some mistake. “You’re Steel, aren’t you?” asked the stranger. “Yes,” replied the All Black. “And in Saturday’s match you once kicked the ball into the crowd ?” “Yes,” “Then you must remember me," said the stranger triumphantly. “I *n the chap that threw the ball back!” It is reported that two Coasters dur. ing their recent honeymoon had been sitting and sighing and talking poetry for three hours, all of which tine he had both her hands tightly clasped in his. Finally she broke forth : “Dearest, T want to ask you something.” ‘‘Ask me a hundred—a thousand — a million things!” he exclaimed in re.

ply. “Well I’ve got an awful shiny t ose, she continued, “and if I draw one of my hands away to use my powder-puff would you think it unkind of ’ne?” A Reefton man who had purchased a racehorse supposed to have wonderful speed, engaged a jockey to iide the horse in a trial. The animal mado no show, being easily beaten. When the jockey dismounted the owner asked him if he had ridden his best.. “Yes,” was the reply. “That’s rather funny,” said the own. er, “I was told he could go as last as an express.” “Possibly he can,” said the jockey, “but he will have to be in one.” An old-time pugilist started an academy at Christchurch for leaching the noble art. and among his pupils was a rather weedy youth. Unfortunately, the latter at his first lesson happened to run into one of the old-timer .i famous hooks, with the result that he took the count and had to be sent home in a taxi. ■ . The next day a letter was received at the academy from the pupil’s mother : — “Sir, —As a result of the unfortunate occurrence of yesterday, I beg to request that the remaining eleven lessons due to my son should be _ccnducted by correspondence.— Lor rs faithfully, .” They met in Revell Street, Hokitik/, and she spoke enthusiastically of spir. itualism. She declared that she had got into communication with her deceased husband, who had asked for cigarettes, “But,” she said. “I am at a loss to know where to send them.” “Well,” said her male companion, “you ought to know if he didn’t ask for matches!”

LIMERICKS BY NOTABLES. “Which is the best limerick?” A number of famous people have answer, ed the question with their pet limericks in “The Complete Limerick Book.’’ Dean Inge votes for : — There was an old man of Khartoum, Who kept two black sheep in his room. “They remind me,” he said, “Of two friends who are dead,” But he never would tell us of whom

There is a touch of the metaphysical about Mr St. Loe Strachey’s choice : — There was a young man of Cadiz, ' Who inferred that life is what it is, For he early had learnt, If it were what it weren’t, It could not be that which it is. One is swiftly brought back to real- ’ ity and the troubles of everyday life by Wilkie Bard’s pathetic speci- , men: — ’ There was a young lady of Jarrow, , Whose mouth was exceeding narrow, Though times without number, She chewed a cucumber; ' She never could manage a marrow. Mr Seymour Hicks sends as his con. tribution : — There was a young lady of Zenda, ■ Whose language was loving and tender. She said to her beau, “Down to Richmond we'll go, And we’ll dine at the Star and —Suspender.”

And there is rather a nice one by the late Mr Woodrow Wilson, U.S.A. President: — 1 As a beauty I am not a star, There are others more handsome by far. ' But my face —I don’t mind it, For I am behind it. It’s the people in front get the jar! Among the limericks for the epicure there is rather a nice , one about the Young Lady of Munich— Whose appetite simply was unich, “There’s nothing like food,’’ She contentedly cooed As she let out a tuck in her tunich.