ODDS AND ENDS.

Greymouth Evening Star, 14 September 1918, Page 8

ODDS AND ENDS.

Vexed Wife: “There’s no calamity can befall a Avoman that I have not suffered !’ Amiable Husband : “Wrong, my dear; why, you have never been .t, Avidow.” Vexed Wife: “I said calamity, sir.’’ Blobbs: “What nonsense :t is Tor newspapers in.their accounts of weldings to describe the bride as Urng led to the altar.” Slobbs; “How sc?” Blobbs: “Why, most of the girls c< uld find their Avay in the dark.” ♦ Pat.: “Mike, I joined an insurance order last night, and it’s fine.” M'ke ; “What kind of insurance order?” Pat : “Well, I pay one dollar a Aveek as long as 1 live, and get two dollars a week as long as I’m dead.” He : “I suppose, then, Ave may as well break off the engagement, and say Ave have both been disappointed in love.” She: “There seems to b© no other conclusion. You thought 1 had money, and I certainly thought you had.” “Send me some money to get me out of this trouble,” wrote a AvayAvard youth, “and I promise to begin all over again.” “Yes,” muttered his father, crumpling up the letter in his hand, “that’s precisely Avhat you Avculd do if I sent it,”