FUNNIOSITIES.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume VI, Issue 73, 21 October 1897, Page 3

FUNNIOSITIES.

A Dai of Rest. —Sunday-school Superintendent: " Can any of you tell me why Sunday is called the day of rest ?" Little Dick (holding up his hand): " I kin. It's 'cause we get up very early and hurry through breakl'as', so s to dress for Sunday-school, and then hurry to Sundayschool so s we won t be late, and then skip into church'fore the bell stops rin-in', and then go home to dinner and fcit ready for afternoon service, and then get supper and go to bud, so's papa an' mamma can get ready for evening service. That's all we do."

Mrs. Do Bride was entertaining callers. After they had left she remarked to her husband: " I hope they didn't see my walking shoes lying there; they would think me very untidy it they did." " Oh, if they saw them, they probably thought they were mine," answered her husband, in a consoling tune. And she hasn t spoken to him since.

Little Girl: "-Did you ever dream of in Heaven?" Little -Boy: "No, not exaetly; but I dreamt once that I was in the middle of a big apple pudding, and that is a better dream."

" It must be strange for the Spaniards to feel that they are ruled over oy a mere infant." "Why?" "Its so uncommon." " Humph! It's plain you never had an infant. It's the most natural thing in the world for a baby to boss things."

" You see, it was this way. They were all three so dead in love with her and all so eli"ible, that to settle the matter she ayreed to ° marry the one who should guess the nearest to her age."

"And did she?" " I don t know. I know that she married the one who guessed the lowest."

Millie : " It looks aa though the bicycle would drive the horse out of existence." Leavitt: "Not a bit of it. The more bicycles there are the more they will need horses." Millie: "What for?" '' Leavitt: •' Ambulances."

"Dootor," said the grateful patient, seizing the physician's hand, "I shall never forget that to you I owe my life." "You exaggerate," returned the doctor mildly; you owe me only for fifteen visits. That is the point which I hope you will not fail to remember."