FUNNIOSITIES.

Golden Bay Argus, Volume VI, Issue 60, 22 July 1897, Page 3

FUNNIOSITIES.

A PASTORAL VISIT. A certain Dumfries minister was paying a pastoral visit to a farm-house where his creature comforts were well attended to. The good wife proposed that he should havo’a meal before beginning the customary ‘exercises.’ ‘But,’ replied the minister, ‘ I aye tak my tea better when my work is dune. I’ll just be gaun’ on. Ye can put the pan on, and leave the door ajar, and i'll break off the prayer suddenly when I hear the ham fizzin’.’ THOUGHT HE WAS RIGHT FOR A CHRISTMAS BOX. ' Are you the regular postman ?’ ‘Yes, mum.’ (With lively vision of a good Christmas-box.) * Do you come in the morning ? 4 Yes, mum.’ ‘ And in the afternoon ?’ ‘ Yes, mum.’ (Eagerly.) 4 And in the evening also ?’ 4 Yea, mum.’ (Still more eagerly.) ‘Oh, then it must have been you who broke our bell.’ (Vision of Christmas-box vanishes.) \ BUMPED UP AGAINST A SNAG. A flock of sheep were one day passing through a country town in this colony, when one of the number happened to tire, and lay down. A little boy, who was passing by, and Baw the sheep, asked the drover if he would give it to him. The drover told him he could have it. Ihe boy took off his braces and tied them round the sheep’s neck, and proceeded on his journey, accompanied by the sheep. Wiien near home, a man came up to him and asked the lad how much he wanted for the sheep ? 4 What’ll yer give ?’ said the businesslike boy. 4 A shilling,’ said the man. ‘ Oh, no yer don’t,’ said the little boy. 4 There’s more than a shilling’s-wor ih of steak on him, let alone the hair wot s on his back.’ The man left quite satisfied that he had bumped up against a snag. A 6 111 9 RHYME. A queer little boy who had been to school, And was up to all sorts ot tricks, Discovered that 9 when upside down Would pass for the figure G. So when asked his ago by a good old dame, The comical youngster said : 4 I’m 9 when 1 stand on my feet like this, But 6 when I stand on my head !’