STORY OF A GOOSE.

Feilding Star, Volume XI, Issue 2732, 1 June 1915, Page 3

STORY OF A GOOSE.

THE MEAL THAT FAILED,

OFFICER AND* HIS QUARRY

This is the story of a goose. The officer who took the- story to Paris was so eager to tell it that he did 'not even stop to remove the six days stubble on his face before searching out the English-speaking contingent at the cafe frequented by him on his visits to the gay city. "It was after one of the onward sweeps we executed a few weeks ago that I found myself comfortably installed in a little he began. "The owners evacuated it in a great hurry as the state of things indicated, but, after days and weeks of sleeping anywhere where there was room to stretch oneself, the chance of going to bed every night with a real ceiling overhead and real pillowslips and real mattress underneath one was so good that the little shortcomings, made inevitable by the hurried departure of the inhabitants, were jof no account whatever. '

"There were two canaries in a cage in the room downstairs. There were provisions in plenty in the cupboard, and there was linen both for the table and the bed. It was really very nice, and made one forget the realities of war, especially since in the small yard a goose paraded the whole day long, serenely unconscious of any danger to its owner or itself. THE N.C.O.'S SUGGESTION. "It was a joy to watch this goose. The airs it assumed were altogether out of proportion to its importance. It never entered my mind that the goose would form a welcome addition to the menu besides, it added picturesqueness to the view. But one day as I stood watching the goose emulate the Prussian Guards' parade step, a non-com, edged up to hie and said ingratiatingly "when shall we eat it?" "Eat what?" I asked wonderingly. 'The goose/ he whispered

'The temptation proved too strong for me. I .could not get rid of the desire to taste roasted goose. I appraised the goose as being worth about five shillings, put the money into a small vase on the mantel-shelf of the living-room, and calling the non-com., told him to slay the bird.

"Me kill the goose " he exclaimed with horror in his voice. 'I could not do it. Even at home—' I cut him short. Go and find a soldier who would be willing to tackle the job. , I said. He went out, but the search was in vain. None of these fellows, whom one could hardly keep back when it came to attacking the trenches, or a many times stronger enemy, had the courage to kill a goose. And to think that they had pierced the Germans with their bayonets in an ecstasy of pure joy!

THE GREAT RESOLVE

''A day and another passed; the goose continued to promenade, whilo my appetite for a taste of it grew by leaps and bounds. Then a moment came when I could restrain myself no longer. I decided to give a lesson of bravery to my men, and, at the same time, put an end to the agony of unsatisfied desires. I resolved to kill the goose. Ido not want to dwell on the fact that I trembled a bit, that I really held myself as contemptible as an executioner in the, play of an Oriental monarch. I pulled out my sword, shut my eyes,, and went for the goose. "Never before had 1 noticed the wonderful construction of a goose's neck. Every time the weapon whizzed dangerously near its head, the bird simply contracted its neck, and, of course, dodged the mortal blow. The men began to giggle; I grew angry, and still the goose was out-manoeuv-ring me by the simple expedient of withdrawing its neck from the proximity of danger, while I to shut my eyes, for I could not bring myself to kill the innocent bird with my oyes wide open. "I do not know how long the comedy would have lasted, but in the midst of my onslaughts, a shell fell in the midst of us. It exploded, hut by a miracle none of us were .hurt. When we recovered from the surprise, we saw the goose, decapitated by the explosion, stretched out on the ground. "Here comes the real tragedy of the business. The goose- was plucked, and was being roasted when we received the order to move on. We left the roasted goose in the little house. Believe me, I never wanted goose as much as I wanted that particular goose."