'DARN IT'

Feilding Star, Volume III, Issue 8, 12 July 1882, Page 3

'DARN IT'

THE UNFORTUNATE POSITION OF A

BRIDEGROOM. F Th y had a terrible time at a wedl ding u;j nt Petal uma recently, and ■ which only goes to chow how the ; >mall9«t drawback will sometimes take ' the stiffness ont of the swellest occasion. It seems that the ceremony was a i very grand affair indeed r l here were ■ eight bridesmaids, and the church was ■ crowded from pit to domp, a* the dramatic critics would say. But, when they got to the proper place in the ceremony, and the groom beL'an feeling around for tbe ring, he discov red that it wasn't, on hand. After the minister had scowled at the miserable wretch for a while, the latter delected that the magic circlet had sl pped through a hole in his pocket and worked into his boot. He communi cated the terrible fact in a whisper to ths bride, who turned deadly pale, aDd was only kept from fainting by the reflection that they would inevitably cut the strings of her satin corsap c in case she did, 4 Why don't you produce the ring ?' whispered the biide's big brother, hoarsely, and feeling for his pistol, under tbe impression that the miserable man was about to back out. ' I can't. It's iv my boot,' explained the g'oom under his breath, his very hair meanwhile turning red with mori ideation. ' Try and fish it out, somehow — hurry up,' mumbled the minister behind his book. Til try,' gasped the victim, who was very stout ; and he put one foot on the chancel rail, pulled up his i rousers lep; and began making spasmodic jabs for the ring with his forefinger. The minister motioned to ihe organist to fill in tbe time, while a rumour rapidly went through the congregation to the effect that a telegram had just arrived proving the groom had four other wives living in Last already. 4 I — l can't reach it,' groaned the half-married man, in agony. ' It won't come.' 'Htdown and f ake your boot off, you fool !' hissed tbe bride's mother, 'vhile the bide herself moaned piteously and wrung her hands. There was nothing left ; so the sufferer sat down on vhe floor and bp'jan io wrestle wirh his boot, wbich was naturally new and tight, while a fresh rumour got under way to the effect that the groom was beastly tight. As (he boot came finally off, its civ. bed wearer endeavoured, unsuccessfully, to hide a trade dollar hole in the heel of his stocking ; noticing which, tbe parson, who whb a humorous sort of a aky contractor, said grimly : 4 Nou seem to be getting married just in time, my youn<> friend.' and the ceremony proceeded with the party of the first part standing ou one leg, trying to hide his well-venti-lated foot under the tail of his coat , and appiopraitely muttering ' Darn it !' at short intervals. (