BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 25939, 2 November 1946, Page 12

BY THE WAY

(Written by 11 X.Y.,” for the ‘ Evening Star.’j

In racing nomenclature the late Sir George Clifford easily led New Zealand owners for appositeness, euphony, and originality. Of late years our race books have bristled with derivatives of Fox on one sort of racecourse and of Potts on the other. Among recent, recruits a wearer of harness scores—the winner of the Waitaki Handicap at Oamaru on Labour Day. Readers of Tennyson’s '' Idylls of the King,’ will remember the apparition of a human arm, protruding from a lake’s surface, holding the magic sword called Excalibur. That was the . name of the Waitaki winner, and his breeding is by Swordbearer out of Worthy Queen. The aptness of the name of the offspring is obvious so far as the sire is concerned; as regards the dam it is less obvious, but its subtlety more than compensates for that. A queen, especially one designated worthy, is surely a lady of quality; and, when one remembers that calibre may ,be translated as quality, and that the Latin prefix “ ex ” signifies “ out of,” it is patent that no other name could have fitted as well as Excalibur. • •

As readers of the ‘ The Innocents Abroad ’ and other works from the pen of Mark Twain will recollect, America’s No. 1 humorist penetrated to many regions off the beaten track of the globe-trotters of his day. His luxury cruiser visited an island group in the Pacific, where he found that tribal customs often differed from the routine followed in more civilised countries. One thing that struck him as not unworthy of our consideration was that the offspring of every dusky heathen couple adopted the mother’s name instead of the father’s, as their surname.

The congenitally curious Mr Clemens asked the reason for this unexpected tribute to what, having regard to time and place, he naturally assumed to be the inferior sex. The answer he got was that there could never be any doubt as to who an infant’s mother was; whereas, in those islands at any rate, its precise paternity could not be accepted as a matter of course. One other island custom, however, he discarded as quite unsuitable for adoption by white people: The harvest of the seas was available to even the less expert native all the year round. The catch was eaten raw and alive, wrote Mark; and without further comment he passed swiftly on to. mention other native characteristics not so crude.

Psycho-analysts, nerve specialists, and moralists have been having a tilt at us self-effacing New Zealanders, until we may now consider ourselves as legitimate raw material for wandering phrenologists and palmists who feel an itch to draw charts of us and catalogue us as soon as they obtain, passports and passages to our perilous shores. Not the least critical are they of our own household. Probably .few in New Zealand knew that they were fellow countrymen of Mr Hector Bolitho until he bounced into the limelight as biographer of a king who abdicated the Throne of England. After a long interval a smart cracksman has revived the notoriety of the one, and a few wisecracks about ourselves have reminded us of his apologist. , ; For-those of us tolerant enough to give' Bolitho a second thought, the chief point about his summary is. his differentiation between those who live on different sides of Cook Strait. There is a difference, and the Government recognises it. In respect of the State services a more tender solicitude is extended to North Islanders, as being persons who need a deal of humouring. Ignoring history and the boost which the discovery of gold gave the South Island nearly a century ago, the Government insists on treating it as the younger child, predestined inexorably, as though by John Calvin himself, to wear the cast-off garments of his e'der brother, suitably remodelled by various botchers sheltering anonymously in the ranks of the . Civil Service.

A recent North Island visitor, sympathising with .us on the debased coinage put into circulation by our broadcasting studios, has identified some of our “ programme music ” as the second growth arising from the attempted refurbishing of records worn threadbare by "long use in the North Island. It is an undisputed fact that the Railway Department’s road service here is provided by a fleet of rejects which have served their day and generation in the North Island. This is fair neither to chauffeurs nor to passengers. (But, as Bolitho says, we are less nervy than the northerners. The preponderance of votes in the North Island influences the Government hardly at all compared with its diagnosis of degrees of touchiness—or, conversely, of toughness. Sez you!

If women were a logical sex they would either boycott the approaching General Election or “ plump ” wholeheartedly for Mr Holland and his followers. Last Monday was a kind of saints’ day, consecrated to the Tolpuddle Martyrs and their New Zealand successors —who, however, mostly hail from Ireland, especially. via Victoria (Archbishop Mannix’s diocese) or Clydeside (■which sent the late Mr Jaipes Maxton to the House of Commons) . Therefore was its celebration largely devoted to the worship of the horse and the nurture and perpetuation of his high priest, the illicit layer of “ tote ” odds, or so-called bookmaker.

The advance guard of the Labour Day procession fell in on Friday morning and formed long queues in front of provision shops—women equipped, with baskets with handles or mounted on wheels. Very belatedly a Minister of the Crown has .inveighed against heartless bakers for not having resumed deliveries. But there are other tradesmen, such as butchers and greengrocers; and there are certain drawbacks to delivery, such as a tyre famine, said to be artificially created and perpetuated by the present Government. Very recent legislation has also hamstrung the restaurant trade at holiday time, to ensure that mater familias shall continue to function as a wage slave, but .without wages, let alone overtime rates. Many women, however, will vote Labour, because (as they boast) domestic duties are ana-: tliema to them, and the Government offers them a wide choice of “ cushy ” alternatives.