CHRISTMAS WISHES TO HITLER

Evening Star, Issue 24079, 27 December 1941, Page 3

CHRISTMAS WISHES TO HITLER

[Written by “ X.Y.,” for the ‘ Evening Star.’] At last it’s over, past and done, 'This Christmas, Nineteen-forty-one. We’ve done our best to have it spent in seasonable merriment And reasonable cheer, All hoping that events will bring Some more spontaneous junketing Next year. A plague on Hitler and his ways! He spoils one’s Christinas nowadays; Not only yours and mine, but it’s A dismal time for Hans and Fritz, Inadequately clad, In Russian snow or Libyan dust'They find the festive season just Too bad. You see, this nasty specimen Wants “ war on earth, ill-will towards men ” A Christmas minus dividends Except for Adolf and his friends— His friends, I mean, “ protein.”; For some have found, at any rate, His friendship not too fortunate For them. Field-marshal Hitler! there is due A Christmas wish from me to you. I hope the little gift will suit, And will not go astray en route To your esteemed address. I hope you lead your troops to war. And get just what you’re looking for, No less. '' I wish your men a journey home To Berlin, Bucharest, or Rome. May bonfires blaze and crackers crack To speed them on their homeward track, In case the journey’s slow. I hope enough survive the Kainpf To thunk yon for their Christmas trampf. What ho 1 - I send another Christmas wish To Musso-—poor old stranded fish ! With gifts appropriate to stock Old Sawdust Caesar’s empty sock— Some worn-out running shoes, Squeezed lemons, punctured toy balloons, Squashed raspberries and dried-up prunes I’ll choose.

dietary of the Forces. These days we know that quite simple diet charts can be drawn up to prevent pellagra, beriberi, scurvy, light-blindness, and other vitamin-deficiency diseases which were prevalent in some countries 20 or 30 years ago.

Wednesday, December 24. Mine host of the hotel is a typical genial, good-hearted chap associated with inukeeping down the centuries. He insists on being host every now and then in the matter of a “ quicken ” (his name for anything purchasable at the bar). This afternoon he beckoned me as 1 came dripping off the tennis court. “Come on, Doc.,” he called out, “you look as if you want a ‘ quickmi.’ ” His diagnosis was correct, and the ice that clinked merrily in the glass gave psychological zest to the treatment prescribed. “ What I say, Doc.,” said mine host (whom everybody .seems to address as Larry), “is that a good drink >at the right time never did anybody any harm.” “ I’m inclined to agree with you,” I said, “ but the trouble is that opinions vary so much on what is and what is not the right time!” “ All times are right, but some are better than others,” said Larry, with a long chuckle at his own witticism. “ Yon don’t expect a doctor to agree with you there, do you?” I asked genially. “ Oh, no,” said Larry, “ yon doctor blokes. are like ministers. You have to tell us what’s best for us.” There ore some very dangerous occupations in this world. Not many of us would feel it was too safe to be a steeplejack, a big-game hunter, a jockey, a deckhand on a sailing ship, or the man who is hoisted up on a crane to high heaven during building operations. Yet if memory serves me right, world figures show that these occupations are not as dangerous as being-a bar tender. Larry, at 53, has far too large a paunch, probably consumes 30 drinks a day without showing psychological effects, -works late 1 hours, has little exercise, and at a rough guess I would say has already commenced the sharp descent to premature old agei In general terms one would respectfully offer advice to these genial fellows that they should not make undue demands on themselves in the name of hospitality, and that they should the better guard their liquid assets. Friday December 26. I was asked to-day was it true that some human beings have more than five fingers or five toes on each hand or foot. “These cases do occur,” I explained, “ and often there is an hereditary influence.” There is a school of thought which says that these extra appendages should he. removed soon after the child is born. Often they are attached only by a small pedicle. If the attachment is firmer the operation can wait a little. i Humans can also have extra ears and so on. After all, the wonder of it is that so many millions conform to pattern.

Names in this Diary are Fictitious. Copyright.