By the Way

Evening Star, Issue 23817, 22 February 1941, Page 3

By the Way

(By X.Y.)

I am ;i Person doomed to bo Enveloped in Obscurity, I cannot claim Renown or Fame. No Folk—on meeting me by Chance, Feel flattered at a Smile or dance. They say “ Good day,” Or oilier words to that Effect, Without inordinate Respect. My Name is one you’ll never meet Attached to River. Town, or Street. No Hill or Lake Will ever take Its Title, in authentic Maps, From Me—the most obscure of Chaps. If you Should view A. Statue in a Public Square You’ll know that mine will not be there. Well, there are dubious Ways, no doubt, Of being largely talked about Both far and wide (If not with Pride).. For instance, to assassinate Some Person adequately great Would bo For mo An Action which would constitute A Passport to immense Repute. The Trouble is. of course, that I Might subsequently have to die. Or have a Cell ‘Wherein to dwell ; And being bottled up in Quod For quite a.lengthy Period Would not Be what A Fellow would esteem the best Reward for rousing Interest. Such Methods would not pay, I’m sure. it’s better Fun to be obscure, Though some Success, I must confess, Has been attained by Men -who’ve tried The Way of large-scale Homicide. 'But then, Such Men Invariably find they must Keep up the Murdering, or bust. ■Why cause unnecessary Fuss To make oneself notorious!'' Upon my word, It’s most absurd. H’s hardly worth a fellow’s While To have those Boobies yelling “Heil!” it’s not (God wot) An entertaining Recompense For such an overhead Expense! Since Fame can nob be mine by Bra ins, Or leaving Massacred Remains in public View To show Who’s Who, Or rising by some Stroke of Luck Above the ordinary Ruck, Then lot Me got Contentment (as a Sportsman can) From being just an Also Han. * * * *

it is -not often the racehorse owner takes the public into his confidence. A Mr Pharazyn, of Hawke’s Bay, has clone so on mild provocation. Some little time ago there was an addition to his equine family, and there arose the problem of finding a name for the prospective bearer of the colours. The naming of racehorses is considered by some to he a serious business, calling not only for knowledge of pedigrees, but for acquaintance with the classics, a tering of mythology, a nice discrimination in phonetics, and the superficial mental agility of the solver (or framer) of cross-word puzzles. Rut Mr Pharazvn sidestepped all those responsibilities by the simple expedient, much resorted to in New Zealand stables, of bestowing a Maori name on a colt whoso breeding, in the opinion of at least one sporting scribe, warranted .something better. For lie was by lido Race out of Liaison, and an AngloFrench derivative was indicated. -Moreover. the Maori name chosen was a peculiarly complex one, calculated to be a pitfall'for broadcasting announcers: and. even to an everyday Maori name (such as Taranaki), a pedantic announcer can impart an exotic flavour that is at first bewildering and afterwards slightly ludicrous. But Mr Pharazyn stuck to his guns, adducing the sound reason that he named the colt after the hill on which it first saw the light of day, and that the name signified “ looked for.”

Among visitors to W ingatui this week main- will admit that there were plenty of horses that were looked for, but were not sighted—that is to say, they were not in the place their backers wanted to see them “ Looked for” may thus be regarded as a generic or tribal name, applicable to all horses that face the barrier. In a sense, then Mr Phara/.vn's colt, when ins education is complete, will be running, rather incog, especially to those who wrestle hopelessly with polysyllabic Maori words. What might he have been called, having duo regard to sire and dam? ihe Kip is allusive both ways, but rather disrespectful. However, it ns a pointer to Lonsdale. This is well known to mariners entering Port 1 hihp. between Points Lonsdale and Nepean is the must spectacular and discommoding tide-race in these parts of the world, beiim, in fact, the only feature of Ins 'Melbourne visit to impress Budyard Kipling. “ But,” you ask. where does the distaff side come in.- J his is a delicate matter to explain in the Antipodes, though it might be a work of supererogation in the Lakes District of iOmdand, where Lowther Castle is situated. The late Lord Lonsdale was prominent in the ’nineties in sporting circles. Ho dabbled in racing, he boxed witli Jobn L. Sullivan, he yachted with Kaiser Wilhelm, and he had other hobbies.

From Venezuela, whence no doubt is derived a good deal of the petrol which goes into the tanks oi the gallant R.A.F., conies an indication that midst war's alarums and excursions the. arts of peace are not being altogether neglected. In his allegorical phantasv, 1 The Food of the finds,' H. G. Wells told of a dietetic discovery ivliieh promised well enough until the lower animal kingdom became partakers, with tho result that rats became as big as wolves and quite as formidable. But Dr Teddy Morgan, an Englishman in South America, is propagating a grass of the melinis multiflora species, which has very high recommendations. Where it grows mosquitos, ticks, and s snakes avoid the vicinity like a plague. Horses, cattle, and mules thrive on it, but nob sheep. Because of that fact and of our immunity from snakes, tho discovery docs not seem of particular moment to New Zealand. Nevertheless, we await further particulars of melinis mnltiflora. Does it banish sandflies? If so, it would he a godsend to Stewart Island, tho Eglinton Valley, and suchlike places, where sheep have as yet hardly

The time has come”, the Walrus said, “ To talk of many things

penetrated, and are at any rate of far less economic importance than tourists, some of whom, if they penetrate once, vow to do so never again, despite such, palliatives as chemists recommend.

History repeats itself. Once moro the newspaper public is being reminded ol Urn old racecourse saying that “ they gallop in ail shapes." In this case the gallop is along the straight and narrow stretch, witu heaven or the Day of Judgment as the finishing post. Included in the held aro representatives of the fancy religions, to the numbers of which some new varieties have been added since tha last war. Their common denominator is their deep-seated respect for tha -Mosaic Commandment, ‘‘ Thou shalt not kill.” With groat fortitude crossexamining 1 counsel probe the recesses of tile foundation beliefs of the “ conchies,” always laying particular stress on the date of conversion, which seldom exceeds two years. This week’s highlight in the monotonous question and answer in this man power Higher Catechism was the unearthing of a fresh generation of the Clan Baxter. Tha name recalls lively episodes of 25 years syne. In that particular ease the authorities were as pertinacious as, say, the late Rev. P. B. Fraser engaged on a heresy hunt, and finally achieved a kind of Pyrrhic victory. The attention of military objectors may be directed to a point raised in connection with Herbert Hoover’s plan for averting starvation in Franco, Belgium, and Holland (once again history repeats itself). It was objected that total war is no respecter of persons, and that the difficulty of differentiating between civilian and military populations applies to succour from outside as much as it did to the great onslaught. ♦ * « • Among the lighter distractions of tho week have been the activities of the .Darwinians at Wellington and of the Wagnerites at Oainaru. That is to say, in the capita! there has been a, monkey hunt, and in the North Otago town an adaptation of Lohengrin, resulting in tragedy for the swan. The question remains, which swan—the principal villain or its understudy, Hamilton has been the scene of a form of peaceful penetration by one Government department at the expense of another. A new' school building, designed to relieve one form of congestion, lias been appropriated to treat another form inter alia, having been commandeered by the military authorities for a hospital. ' There is a question of principle involved, ■but so far this is only a local 'affair, ft is at Bluff that a shrewd blow has been struck against the normal life of the w'hole community of New Zealand, and it has landed in a vulnerable spot,, the stomach. The great Oyster Derby has had to be postponed, because none of the entrants would face the barrier. As in most industrial disputes, the deadlock means losses all round, except to the reprieved inhabitants of the ooze at the bottom of Foveaux Strait and the vendors of meat pies on Wingatui racecourse, who have been spared a form of opposition, which at this season of the year never seems to lack the element of surprise as an ancillary to consumptive demand,'

“ The rags of to-day are tho banknotes of to-morrow.”— National Service talk. 0. antiquated pair of Breeks, Decrepit, senile Trews, Ont-dated, obsolete Antiques, No longer fit to use, Decayed, dilapidated Bags, Once known as Harris Tweed, Shall you become essential Bags To serve the Empire’s need? 0. Mutilated Shirt, devoid Of-Collar, Cuff, and Tail, And other Garments once employed To shield this shivering Male — O, feminine Attire, outworn (By me unspecified) Shall you set out To-morrow Morn To fight on Britain’s Side? Those dainty Curtains, once displayed To greet each Caller’s Eye, And mostly, when their Colours fade. Put providently by To polish Metal, Paint, and Glass, And titivate my Car, Now resurrect themselves, and pass Triumphantly to War. That Paper Currency I find Too seldom in my Pouch, Was once (perhaps) a Window Blindj Or clothed a Parlour Couch. Maybe my neighbour’s Garden Coat (An Earth-encrusted Grey) Produced the tardy Five-Pourid-Noto That reached me Yesterday. The ‘ Evening Star ’ upon my Lawn May possibly have been An Evening Frock in Beige or Fawn* Cerise, or Tangerine. 1 Sheet-music may have had its Birth In Sheets which heretofore Produced no Melody on Earth More tuneful than a Snore.

So there they go, these Odds and Ends,, These Cuttings, Bags, and Snips, To furnish Letters for my Friends, Or wrap my Fish and Chips. If Paper’s posted back to me, Made from the Bags I’ve sent. Trade Circulars and Bills will be Quito ninety-nine per Cent.