On Elbows

Evening Star, Issue 23723, 2 November 1940, Page 3

On Elbows

In the bus I shared a seat with a friendly lady, a lady so friendly that she must be called matey. Her conversation, if not subtle, embraced a variety of topics; and though it was mostly in the imperative mood, it was actuated by good-wall. “ Look at the ivy on the steeple,” she ordered, and I leaned forward. “ It’s a pity some girls wear slacks,” she deplored, and I glanced back. “ There’s one of the new blazers,” and I peered to the left. “ That man who’s smoking is not in the rear of the notice. Seep ” And I had to squint to the right. I’d have preferred meditation to bending and stretching in order to look at ivy and sports clothes; but I tried to be obliging. Really, I had no choice, for each injunction was accompanied by a jab from my companion’s elbow into my unprotected side. It was not until the next morning that I realised how complaisant I had been; and, counting up all my little bruises, I thought about elbows. Ordinarily., in my charity, I’d have thought kindly of elbows, since of all parts of the body they are the most neglected. Compared with the wrist and the ankle, the elbow is indeed the Cinderella of joints. Watches and bracelets are hung on the wrist; all the industry and cunning of the silk worm are impressed to make the ankle gleam; but the elbow remains unsung, unadorned. While the knee is pampered and cossetted, the poor elbow is left alone. Little pads are knitted to mediate between the knee and wintry winds; and fascinating rubber mats make peace between the weeder’s knee and his herbaceous border. For the elbow', nothing; no praise, no advertisement. Its lot is merely to be ignored, and to be ignored so shamefully that it is not so much as recognised as a symbol. It might have been some assuagement to this neglected member had an unwelcome guest been offered it—but no, he gets something bigger, broader—the cold shoulder. The main reason for the unhappy plight of the elbow is that it has no appealing gesture of its own. Wrists know how to beckon, and ankles to entice. However unsightly a knee may ho in itself it is pardoned because it kneels, because it is the vehicle for expressing adoration, repentance, or supplication ; and as such it evokes tolerance from all but the most churlish gods, the most exacting goddesses. Then the knees, when weary of much genuflections, may be converted into that most comforting thing, a lap. But what could anyone, however contrite, however adoring, make out of a couple of elbows? Unpromising must be the material which the poets neglect; but I cannot

Written by PANACHE, for the * Evening Star .*

recall any lyric to a lady’s elbow. Evea Herrick," who inventoried many ladiea and anatomised Julia pretty thoroughly, must have found his imagination lack here. Indeed) among all the eyes and lips, the tresses and columned necks, the white feet and th® long hands, there is only one elbow, and that a left one; and it is found in comic opera, and esteemed only by th® owner herself—Katisha.

The nearest that the elbows approach to romance is when beautiful girls lean on them when they sit by their window® on languid summer evenings. But th® elbow itself is merely a kind of poor relation assisting in the background of the romance. If the pressure of th® drooping head and shoulders is excessive, the elbow reddens, and treatment! is required. Here is another injustice, for tne only way the elbow can get into the beauty pages of the magazine® is in a negative way, by the back door, as it were. It is not how to hav® dimpled elbows, but merely how to pre-' vent and cure redness; not how to mak® the elbows an asset, but how to prevent their becoming a liability. In spite of all efforts, a liability they remain. They are a liability to th® daughters of the' rich, who, entering their first ballroom, have td be .told what to do with these joints that are so unpopular that elbow gloves_ cannot bring themselves to reach so high, and elbow sleeves end before they come so low. They are a liability to the sons of the poor, who can sit when they wish to hide some patches, and kneel to hide others, but whose poverty appear® in all its pathos when they are out at elbow.

In vain I search for some brightness •to relieve the sad history of the elbow. Elbow grease, I admit, is honest,.and, as the domestic problem increases, likely to be more and more respectedEveryone knows of housemaid’s knee; but (indignation chokes me) who has over heard of window-cleaner’s elbow?.

The thought of aches recalled meta my own bruises which I had forgotten while altruistically trying to make'put a case for the despised elbow. As I gingerly fingered my discoloured flesh I suffered a revulsion of feeling. The elbow deserved to be scorned and neglected. It is, when everything has been said in its favour,, an unattractive member. The actions which it cap perform are anathema to all high-minded, right-thinking people. In public it is aggressive and self-seeking, the instrument that finds a way through a crowd. In private it is surreptitious; it nudges. The weak and dependent may feel secure when a firm hand is slipped beneath the elbow to gently pilot . . * . Another nail in the elbow’s coffin, since it has led me to split an infinitive-