CRITIC IN THE KITCHEN

Evening Star, Issue 21931, 18 January 1935, Page 11

CRITIC IN THE KITCHEN

BRAINS IN SEARCH OF BRAWN John Collier writes in the London ‘Daily Telegraph’: At the age of thirteen, when my appetite was becoming a very serious' thing, I tasted a certain brawn which I remember very well. It was at about this time of the year, and the weather was extremely cold. The jelly of that brawn was like the heart of an enormous block of crystal, lit by flickering yellows and greens; the fat was white and smooth to a degree; there was lean meat of several different hues. The peppercorns stood about in it so thick that you’d have thought that gallant brawn had become a sort of angel among jellied meats, and had been brought down by a charge of No. 4 shot. I was heedless at that age, and thought good things grew on trees. Besides, etiquette demanded a choice between eating and speaking, so 1 was a silent child, and made no inquiry as to the authorship of this masterpiece, or the secrets of its production. 1 have never tasted another like it, but its memory is with me yet, and for that reason I would never go near a psychoanalyst lest he should analyse away niy brawn and leave me without all standards, hopes, and ideals. As Traherne would have said had he tasted it; “ that brawn was orient an immortal meat.” It was more, it was a sort of grail which I have diligently sought ever since and come near to it once or twice, but never found it.

My search has led me into a vast number of books on cookery and household management, which arc the best reading in the world, and yield a man that knowledge which, judiciously displayed, puts hostesses on their Mettle, an admits him as an equal into the conversation of cooks and housekeepers. KITCHEN GOSSIP. Speaking with this high authority, I recommend the ‘ Country Housewives ’ Book,’ not, indeed, as a grand marshal of kitchen activities, which it does not pretend to be, but as a sort of gossip to be about in the kitchen, who will sometimes come out with a wise saw, and sometimes _ a pretty phrase, and always something of interest, in exchange for a place by the fire. It has its faults, apart from the limited scope to which the author confesses and which the reader willingly concedes. The brawn it describes is a trivial matter, not to be seriously discussed. Some of the instructions are very cursory ; the novice would have to look elsewhere for more details, while the expert does not need all those which are there. Crab-apple is not included among the jollies. This is a great discourtesy, for crab-apple, well rectified with lemon juice, is the best jelly that glows in a jar. Nevertheless, the names of the chapters are in themselves a sweet symphony, like those of the hand-maidens in Rossetti; ‘Store-room and Larder,’ ‘ The Sportsman’s. Bag,’ ‘ Pickles, Chutne'J-s, and Ketchup,’ ‘ Herbs of Grace ’; these are only a few taken at random.

There is a section on bottling fruits and another on bottling vegetables, on which the author speaks with some restraint, as well she may. There is something to be said for keeping a few cherries and plums to put in a winter pie, where, like the unseasonable hyacinth, they may remind us of flowery days. But vegetables are another matter.

If people were about in the mud more they would not want peas with their pheasant, such as I was offered— I won't say where. What thoughts on the eternal verities and the first cause can that man have who cats peas with pheasant? The universe must seem a trivial matter to him, all disjointed and inconsequent, like chatter at a cocktail party. Eat sprouts with your pheasant, and you at once perceive there is some order and intention in Nature, which brought these two things to table as true minds to a marriage. I will admit no impediment. The evolution of the parsnip has taken some millions of years, so that that of the pig, -which has a head to be boiled and legs to be salted. I need say no more. The root artichoke has an affinity with the beef-aml-kidney pudding, the mature carrot with the oxtail, the leek with the winter mutton, roast, the onion with that same mutton boiled. These have not been lightly joined. Let no man, nor.no flabby soakling out of a glass jar, put them asunder*