QUEER CLUBS

Evening Star, Issue 21619, 15 January 1934, Page 5

QUEER CLUBS

BEER AS " KNEE WALLOP " There are clubs whose members are pledged to describe beer as “ knee wallop,”to wear collars, not to wear colcolars, and to treat ‘‘everything, Mr John Smith says” as law. ' These are some of the finds. made during an investigation by the. Post Office Savings Bank into its “ society accounts” with a view to extending still further the activities of the special section appointed to deal with them. Reversing the title of Mr Chesterton’s “Club of Queer Trades,” the Post Office is setting out to make a trade of queer clubs. So far, it has succeeded to the tune of more than 30,000 accounts—and it knows just how queer some of them are because their objects and rules are filed for reference. The pride of the collection is the “John Smith” club—although it has another name—which brings autocracy nearer the home than any political organisation the world has ever seen. Its rules are three: — 1. That the club be called ... 3. That Mr John Smith be secretary. 3. That everything Mr John Smith sa/s is law. '

A society of which the members are pig owners has the less provision—for the executive —that “ if a pig die the committee shall choose one of its members to make the best of it in its power,” while another group of pig enthusiasts enaot that “ before any pig ig ©ntcrcd on tliis club it snail be seen by the puncher and punched in the ear.” " ' ‘ Ramblers’ clubs provide other eccentricities. The “knee wallop ” club, for example, is one of these. The latter term, means ale, which members must distinguish “bitter” as “ sharp- wallop,” “Burton” as “ green wallop, and whisky and brandy as mere Other rambling, clubs have , fines for the mockery of a club member while singing, for “fishermen’s” stones _of unsubstantiated long tramps, and for mentioning politics or racing in the presence of members. ~ , 1 There are other clubs of which the members must present a cort—of no specified brand—to prove their bona fides; -bean-feast” clubs, winch devote the whole year to the systematic preparation of an annual “blow-out ; and clubs which will provide their members with everything from Christmas trees to veterinary attention for sick chickens. . . ~ ' At present the section 1 is cupied with the cares of slate clubs—of which there are 2,000 accounts, a large proportion of which will soon require payment in stipulated-coins for the annual share-out. There are also correspondence problems to be dealt with, such as the right reply to make to a club (not temperance) which “has decided to place the money in the brewery bank as being