CHRISTMAS CHUCKLES

Evening Star, Issue 20982, 22 December 1931, Page 4

CHRISTMAS CHUCKLES

(From the General Press Ltd.)

“My dear, did you make this Christmas pudding out of the cookery book?” “Yes, love!” “ I thought 1 tasted one of the covers.”

Mrs Newbride had had a brace of pheasants sent her for Christmas, and she told the servant to cook them for dinner on Boxing Day, as friends were expected. Next morning the girl asked, “Please, mum, do you like the birds ’igh ?” Mrs Newbride: "Like the bird’s eye, Mary! What do you mean?” Mary: “Well, mum, some folks likes the birds stale.” Mrs Newbride: “ Oh, like the bird’s tail? Yes, certainly, Mary; bring in both the eye and the tail.”

Jack: “We’ve put the chest of drawers in front of the fireplace?” Harold: “Yes.” Jack; “You tied the string to the handle of the door?”

Harold: “Yes; and I tied .the other end of the string to the water jug.” Jack: “Then we ought to find out the real facts about Santa Claus.”

A man was taking his family’ to the “pictures” on Boxing Day. He walked a little in front, and his wife and all the children straggled behind. Suddenly a policeman laid a heavy hand on the man’s shoulder. “You come along o’ me,” he said, and, in spite of all protests, led him away. At the police station the man made a last effort, to get an explanation. “What have you taken me up for?” he asked.

“ Slowed if I know,” said the policeman. “But when ye’re locked up I’ll go back and find out why that crowd was followin’ yer!”