BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 20422, 1 March 1930, Page 2

BY THE WAY

[B/ Q.TJ

“ 'flu Km* km Mime." tke Walrue »*W, 11 Te t»lt »f m««y thing*. ” The full text of the report of the Unemployment Committee lias not been received in Dunedin at tho time of writing, unless by a few' favoured persons, but the essential portion of the suggested scheme is available. The essential part is that wo are all to pay a portion of our earnings towards the support of those who do not earn anything. This is sound enough, but will bring scant joy to the hearts of those who at present escape direct taxation and contribute their bit through the Customs and Excise duties. Furthermore, should the sum suggested to be raised prove insufficient for its purpose, the taxation may bo increased to make up the deficiency. The new' impost falls impartially on every head; it spares neither the grey and scanty hairs of the managing director nor the golden-shingled locks of his typiste. No representation without taxation is the motto. We have an uneasy feeling that there will be some difficulty in collecting the amounts, though if each pound paid in gave a chance in a ten thousand pound sweep the money w'ould flow in like water into _ the corporation reservoir. The committee 1 says proudly that when it has finished with them every person in tho dominion will feel that unemployment concerns him or her personally. Too true they will; and what will they do about it when they do feel it? The worst feature in tho scheme is that there is not any suggestion that tho tax will be remitted should unemployment cease, and from experience we know that a Government department which has once tasted the blood of the taxpayer will never go back to a vegetarian diet. The committee itself considers unemployment as a permanent boarder on the premises. We sincerely hope that it is too pessimistic. * # # • Things are not always what they look, But, on tho face of it, it would appear, Most reprehensible of Bearerbrook, „ And Rothermere. Undoubtedly it seems a trifle queer, This drastic and uncalled-for step they took, . These ivild and woolly rebels, Rothermere, And Beaverbrook.

Just think of their assurance, when they took The three contending parties by the ear, And said “you chaps must follow Beaverbrook And Rothermere. “Old Baldwin isn’t anyone to fear. Undoubtedly he totally mistook, The capabilities of Rothermere, And Beaverbrook. “ Don’t worry at the blighter going crook. His party and his policy are mere Nonentities, compared with Beaverbrook 'And Rothermere. “His following will shortly be a mere Defunct, departed, disembodied spook (Except the ones who go with Rothermere And Beaverbrook). , “He goes on talking like a copy-book, His everlasting platitudes, but we’re The saviours of the Empire, Beaverbrook And Rothermere. “It needs a man of action, and a And so it’s time that ©very one forsook Those other chaps to follow Rothermere And Beaverbrook. “It’s time some pushful person came and shook The British Empire up, and now he’s here. In fact, a pair of them-—there’s Beaverbrook And Rothermere. (Perhaps, my friends, a one-too-many cook Might spoil the broth, and we might pay. too dear For handing over things to Beaverbrook And Rothermere!). * «, * .# During the early part of this week Dunedin temporarily revived part of its ancient glory. An old-timer might have imagined that the clock had been put back, and he was on his way to a Caledonian gathering in the ’seventies of last century. Our streets, though peopled by a new race which knoweth not Joseph, have again heard the Cameron’s gathering cry, the war notes of Lochiel. Very martial and stirring wore the sounds, very imposing the pipers as they strutted through the town like fighting cocks; We understand that musical people do not admit any virtue in the pipes. The cultured shudder at the name and call on their gods, Beethoven and Bach, to deliver them. The rank and file who describe themselves loosely as “ fond of music ” infinitely 7 prefer the strains of their African brothers as adapted by American composers. Being a .patriotic Scot and proud of it. wo frankly admit that wo feel the emotional pull of a good pipe band very strongly. To be a sort of anachronism in a faithless and unrestful ago has its advantages as well as its disadvantages. Such a ono finds many small innocent enjoyments unknown to the more sophisticated, to listen to a good pipe band being one of them. The pipers themselves arc a joy; following Chesterton wo welcome any touch of colour in a drab and dreary world, and a pipe band is colourful enough for anyone. Mark how it marches, every piper convinced that his band is tho finest product of tho best of all possible worlds, and ho tho finest piper in it. Cameradoes, as Walt Whitman used to say, the world will lie the poorer when the last piper goes to his rest, with no one to play ‘ Lochabcr No More ’ over him.

Thoughts on a Distant Prospect of the Port Chalmers Road. Wo are informed that these cannot be printed this week or any other week. «*«>•* How the whirligig of time brings in its revenges! The nearest approach to a hermit iu these parts has had to renounce his policy of splendid isolation and join the community life of tho hospital. Generation after generation of young Dunedinites have made a casual acquaintance with Bed Rudd’s hut on Flagstaff, mostly with unsatisfactory results when the old' man was at homo. We hate exact dates and statistical information of all sorts, so will not make any effort to recall the number of years which have elapsed since Ben ordered us off his property in no uncertain tones, though heaven knows we trespassed without any ill intent, and so far as we could judge without doing any damage. Like the Emperor Charles ana various other persons of importance in

their day, Ben wished to forget tin. ■world, and bo by the world forgot, a thing very difficult to compass these days, especially when one either owes money or is suspected of having any. Those who did manage to make Ben’s acquaintance say that when the ice was once well and truly broken he could be quite voluble, and that his conversation, like that of most men who live close to Nature, was both shrewd and interesting. Why he retired from communion with bis race we know not, but he doubtless had sufficient reason.

It is a little amusing to note how eager people are to take credit for “ putting us on the map.” Tho latest candidate. Mr Leo Lerniond, an American athlete now at Auckland, thinks that what small publicity we possess is due to the fact that our Randolph Rose defeated one Lloyd Halm in one or more foot races some time ago. Mr Lermond, we believe, is a running man. Footballers swear that the All Blacks were the best advertisement we have received up to date. Great hopes were raised when a Gisborne boxer, whose name we are ashamed to say we forget, went to the U.S.A. in search of fame, and assault and battery. The Maorilauders who went to the war brought us into some prominence, as much perhaps by their good behaviour as by their undoubted valour. Newspapermen point to the meteoric career of Mr Doidge in Fleet street, and recall that David Low, one time of_ Christchurch, is now England’s leading cartoonist. Rupert Brooke, or some other distinguished stranger, based our claim for recognition on the ground that in the Royal Oak Hotel, in Wellington, we possessed the best remaining specimen of a Victorian age hostelry. Outside of their own mostly small, none of these well-meaning people cut.much ice, and we still believe that our best advertisement is the excellence of our mutton, butter, and cheese, and our admirable system of grading the two latter products. So long as we have good produce to sell at reasonable prices wo shall never want for the acquaintance of those whose friendship is worth having, being expressed in terms of solid cash.

• » • .» When Tntankli shuffled off this mortal coil They buried him unutterably deep, For fear that rubbernecks should try and spoil His sleep. It seems the poor old blighter was averse To archseologists and their behaviour, so he blighted with a curse His graVe. . * And there below, for scores of centuries, He lay within his gold sarcophagus, And no one came a-digging to release That cuss. The Persian and tho Roman and tho Greek Strolled round about the place where Tutankh lay. Not being anxious, they didn’t seek A way Into that interesting hall of death, Where Pharaoh and his household were interred, With treasures fit to take away one’s breath. My word! The Arabs said “Bismillab!” as they passed The writing—which, of course, they never read; But if they had, they might have stood aghast With dread. It’s only .lately that sane folk have, got _ ■ An itch for digging buried Pharaohs out; And so they gloried when they found the spot (No doubt I) They dug and found, with scientific glee. The late lamented monarch and his wives, And how they livefS in n.c., Their lives. Their household furniture and knickknacks, too. Of kitchens, bedrooms, dining room, and ball, Were disinterred and open to tho view Of all. But retribution comes to every man, No matter whether Britisher or Turk; And so old Tutankhamen’s curse began To work. It’s most uncanny how the folk have died. Since all this excavating work began. Who took the risk of so unqualified A ban. « Some say it’s superstitious, and would fain Exhort survivors to another try; But who is going to dig that grave again ? " Not I!