MANNERS OF THE MARRIED

Evening Star, Issue 20061, 29 December 1928, Page 5

MANNERS OF THE MARRIED

It is a tragic thing that every year the divorce lists seem to become larger, and marriage admittedly more difficult to pull off successfully. There arc far too many who make fiascos of it. Looking around upon my friends (writes Ursula Bloom, novelist, in the London ‘Daily Mail’), I can truthfully say that I know of only three happy marriages. it is rather an appalling thought Something is wrong with it, or us, and in my opinion the shockingly bad manners ot the married are to blame. Marriage seems to offer itself as an excuse for bad manners, aiul while this goes on how can it be a success ?. He reads the paper at breakfast; he would never have done it in their engaged days, or now if the merest acquaintance were staying with them; but it’s only his wife, so it doesn’t matter. She docs not change at night when they are alone. Why should she trouble. It’s only.her husband. They make a point ot telling each other their faults; they arc unforgivably per-, sonal about little defects—and phrases once employed have a nasty' habit of sticking in- one’s memory, ■fn the engaged days when they met each strove to entertain the other; conversation was bright; they endeavoured to be amusing,, each to attract. But once married why bother? Every now and then, when somebody else drops in, they make the effort, but it becomes more and more difficult. Gradually’ the art of attraction rusts away. They arrive at that pitch when they deliberately laugh at each other before their friends; they labour under the delusion that they are being clever. It is always, so easy to be witty at the expense of manners, but it- is also the lowest and crudest form of humour. Last of all comes the realisation that they have made a failure of life’s greatest adventure. There is no retracting. It is impossible to fan to fire the qncedead enibers of love. The \ictorians, who certainly made more of a success of marriage than we do. went to the other extreme. They called each other sir and madame, they were politeness personified; they perhaps carried it too far. : But there is a lesson they can teach- us. We want more happy marriages. We want more manners for the married.