FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19758, 7 January 1928, Page 15

FLASHES OF F UN

FOOD FOR THOUGHT. A couple of neighbors were leaning over the fence exchanging gossip. “My husband,” remarked one, “says he always does better work when he’s thinking of me.” “Yes,” responded the other. “I noticed what a good job made of beating the carpets yesterday I” * + * * WARN OFF. Nancy went to visit her cousins one day. When she arrived, Aum. Margaret said:— “ Now, let Nancy have whatever she wants, because she is your guest.” After a few minutes of playing Nancy ran out of the kite 1 en and said : “ Aunt Margaret, will you please tell her who I am?” a # * « A PERFECT MAN. “History,” exclaimed the woman lecturer, ‘‘ is full of examples of the perfect woman. But search as you may I defy you to find one ifistance of the perfect man.” “I think I could tell you of a perfect man, madame,” said a meeklooking man at the back of the hall “You mean yourself, I suppose?” suggested the speaker, acidly. “ Oh, no—not me,” replied the little man, sadly. “My wife’s first' husband.” a * * * PASSING TIME. An eminent doctor, like many of hla brethren, had overworked himself in his zeal for the welfare of suffering humanity, and at length he fell ill himself. Absolute rest was ordered, and ho was not allowed to stir from the house. It was a heavy trial for such an active man as the doctor had been, “Well, old fellow,” said a friend, while paying a visit one day, “ you must find the time hangs heavy on your hands now. How do you pass your time?” “In ray library, with my books, was the reply. “ Still concerned in all that relates to medicine?” interrogated the other. “Yes,” answered the physician, smiling, “but now I can only kill time.” m * * *

“JUST OS ’ENS.” Suddenly the farmer started up in bed. He had heard a noise in the poultry sheds. Hastily pulling on an old coat he scrambled down the stairs and, armed with an old blunderbuss, made his way to the scene of the trouble. He could still hear the flurried chickens. “Who’s there?” lie called. There was no answer. “Who's there?” he cried again. No answer. “Right!” said the farmer. “Then one more chance! Who’s there—before I shoot?” Then came a shaky voice—- “ Nobody; only just .us ’ens!” • * * * SMILE AWHILE. There was a crash on the waysido platform. The stationmaster rushed out of his office and saw the express disappearing, and a young man sprawling among some milk cans. A small boy stood grinning. “Was he trying to catch the train? asked the stationmaster. “He did catch it,” said the boy, with glee, “ but it got away again.” ft * * * TWISTERS. You’ll have no need to light a night light on a night like to-night. For a night light’s light’s a slight light, and to-night’s a night that’s light. It is not really quite right to light a night light on a light night like tonight. If you’ve got any breath left after that, try this one:— The thin prominent professor’s thesis concerning the Sassafras theory is a thoroughly thoughtless scheme. And now another: — . Surely these are the most twisting tongue twisters you have ever tried to, twist your tongue around! * * * + HOW HE SAVED HIMSELF. The doctor of a lunatic asylum was in the bathroom one day, watching a, number of his patients bathe, when one of them called out suddenly: “Let’s duck the doctor!” Seeing his danger, the doctor, with great promptitude, said; “All right, boys; but suppose, now, you give the doctor a cheer before ducking him.” This reasonable proposition was at once acceded to, and a ringing cheer resounded through the building, which at once brought the keepers, as the doctor expected, and he was saved,