CASUAL COMMENTS

Evening Star, Issue 19634, 13 August 1927, Page 2

CASUAL COMMENTS

THE DEAR OLD JOKES [By Leo Fanning.] New jokes may conic and go, hut the oldsters will go mi for ever. They may grow new whiskers and get artificial tcelli, hut thVy will not pass away. The old-time humorists naturally picked the basic tilings for their jesting, and as tho world cannot be always changing its basic tilings, the old foundations must endure for the new humor. * * * * “ I catch you there. AA’hat about golf jokes ?”" somebody may exclaim, Those quips are merely variants of older things. Tho “language” stories were preceded by anecdotes of bullockdrivers’ profanity, which was itself a continuation of an older set of similar outbursts (connected with maritime mates, troopers, Billingsgate bedlams, and cockney cabmen). .Tho jokes based on missing the ball have hosts of parents in other pastimes, including amateur nail-driving (the old hammer and thumb comicality). _ Anyhow, golf jokes are merely a side-linc-upstart ragwort on the fringe of the broad field of British humor. * * * * When did tho mother-in-law first appear in jokes? Somehow it has always seemed to this commentator that the mother-in-law jokes had less application to New Zealand’s social conditions than to those of older countries. However, this jesting is on the wane. Probably the new fashions and tho new dances and other new things have helped to put the mother-in-law on a now plane, for she is at liberty to'enjov her cigarette with the juniors, who are hardly distinguishable from her, and to step it, hop it, trot it, or tot it with the liveliest of them. * * * * Has anybody ever looked thoroughly through a copy of ‘ Punch ’ without seeing a joke about tho plumber, or the plumber’s mate? The plumber’s leaden thumb seems to press heavily on cld England. One wonders whether the plumbers and their dreadful mates in the Old Country are secretly sworn to make a maximum of mess whenever the bathroom tap has dropsy, or whether an outrageous alliance has been arranged between carpenters and plumbers so that the mending of the kitchen sink will require a reconstruction of the dining room, a semi-demoli-tion of the drawing room, and a new roof on tho scullery. Now Zealand’s plumbers do not seem to have become nearly so wicked as the practitioners iu Britain. * * * $ AVomnn’s hats (are they called‘hats now?), her clothing, and unclothing are never out of the comic papers, and never will be. -However, woman is supremely indifferent to gibes about her dress or undress. It is doubtful whether any style, which gained a vogue among women, was ever changed by man’s ridicule. Tho “reformed dress ” (baggy knickers, etc.) of twenty-five years ago was not swished out by man’s scoffing; it simply did not “take on” among the women then. However, the knickers may yet spread from the golf courses and hunting fields to the streets and salons. * * ■* * Tho survival of the hen-pecked husband in British jocosity seems to indicate that the proportion of overawed and overwhelmed husbands is much greater in Britain than iu “ Brighter Britain.” No doubt these sunny isles have sonm husbands who think more than twice before they speak once at home, and promptly hand up their pay without deductions, but the Government Statistician could probably assure ns that those models of domestic training would not be more than 50 per cent, of the married men. Unfortunately, the terra “ conjugal condition ” on tho census paper does not require a husband to state whether he is henpecked or not. * * t- ■+ Tho flirtatious husband—to_ put it mildly—figures frequently in the printed jests. The merriment swings on his detected alliance with the cook, the, house maid, tho nurso girl, tho tyniste—almost anything skirted provided she is pret/ty. This type of man is usually presented as one who is in much awe of his wife, and has very furtive outbreaks of “ sheikism.”

The handsome, bashful curate (formerly bombarded with knitted slippers and stuffed with cream pull’s at innumerable tea-parties) is not so much in print as lie used to be. Perhaps the typo has changed, but tho writer cannot say, as so many curates seek his company._ So also the missionary and tho cannibal are not often served up nowadays, hut, they still have an occasional turn. Perhaps the best of tho thousands of jokes on that subject is this little verse:— I shouldn’t have eaten that mission steak. Said the cannibal chief with a frown ; For oft have I heard of the old proverb-- ‘ You can’t keep a good man down.’ * * * * In England and America spring poets continue to have their sad contacts with editors, year after year. New Zealand does not run much to spring versing, because this country has not the seasonal miracle which comes to those lands that are thoroughly deadened during a long winter. In the greater part of New Zealand the pageant _of tho seasons is not an marked as in England, and spring does not make for so much excitement. There is the annual reporting of “yellow rain” (the showers which catch tho pine pollen), but usually spring glides in almost imperceptibly. Therefore tho spring poet jokes (reprinted from English and American papers) must puzzle many New Zealanders. * * * * Tho inebriate is a perpetual “ property ” of tho professional humorist. How oft have wo all seen tho pictures of the crushed hat at the back or side of tho head, a collar end flying loose, and the legs which seem to bo swaying like sea-weed? Sometimes the “ sozzled ” one has come in late from the club and is making queer replies from the stairs to a shouted questionnaire from an angry wife; sometimes he is shaking hands with street fixtures, or is mistaking the full moon for tho town clock and is wondering what has happened to the hands. One way and another, the inebriate will hold his place in the funny columns. » * # * The absent-minded professor brings money to many joke makers, but this is another of the kind of jests that have loss point in New Zealand than in Britain or America. The trouble in the dominion is rather that the pro-

lessors are not absent-minded enough for our peace and comfort. * * * * Food inspires a regular supply of jokes. The bride’s first pie has dropped out of sight, but tli o' stool-spring chicken, the tanned steak, the hair soup, and other old acquaintances are still in the running. Waiting for food (in restaurants) also yields its regular quota of jokes. * * * * Other well-known and continuing figures in jokes arc the engaged girl and her “catty” critic; the angler and his bag; tho umbrella; the seedy actor; the office boy. Hero is a pleasant tribute to tbc office boy;—Some office boys will whistle, And some will shout in glee; A few will hum an old, old song, But ours can do all three. jfr :j£ # As with the dear old jokes in print, so with the dear old fooling on the stage. The slap-stick will never go out of public favor. The kick on the coat-tails and the exclamatory “ damn ” will never fail to draw loud laughter. Philosophers have written big books about the cause and effect in those matters—books that are not read, except by other philosophers