FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19517, 26 March 1927, Page 16

FLASHES OF FUN

“ Truth, crushed to earth, will rise again.” “Yes—if it ia sufficiently scandalous.” » # * * “ Is she a careful girl? ” “ Yes, verily. She ponders nothing, very carefully, and then says it.” • * * * Nurse (reprovingly): “ Don’t you think, Elsie, you aro a little impatient? ” Elsie: “ No, nurse, I’m a little herpatient.”- « * # * “ Now, Jens, was it you who wrote on the blackboard; ‘Teacher is an ass? ” “Yes, sir!” “ Good, Jens. It pleases me to think you have told the truth for once! ” » » # e Policeman (to pedestrian, just struck by hit-and-rpn driver): “ Did you get his number? ” Victim: “No, but I’d recognise his laugh anywhere.” & # « * She; “I always think of all the unkind things that I’ve said during the day before 1 go to sleep at night.” He; “You don’t say so! How can you do with so little sleep? ” * # • * On the table lay a book, ‘ The Spirit of the Renaissance.’ The new maid read the title curiously, and then said to the daughter of the house: “Do you like these ghost stories, Miss? I can’t abide ’em, they always give me nightmares.” “ Sir,” quavered the young man, wiping beads of agony from his brow, “I’ve come to ask you if you’ll let mo have your daughter’s hand? ” “ Right-ho, young man,” responded the elderly one, “ if you’re looking for it, you can generally find it in my pocket.” « * * v Two men jumped on a moving tramcar. A policeman called them back to him. Ono went, but the other remained on the car. and got away. To tho re- ] turning delinquent the policeman said: “ For jumping on a moving car you aro fined two marks. For jumping off one another two marks. Four marks, please 1 ” * * * « School Inspector: “I am very glad to seo that you have been able to replace all the dirty old books and the other germ-carrying things in the school library by new clean works. I suppose you sold all the old ones? ” ’ Schoolmistress (proudly): “ Oh, no, I sent them all to tho local hospital.” to * * ♦. Policeman; “What impudence. There’s a notice ‘ Bathing strictly forbidden ’ staring you in tho face, and yet you aro swimming gaily about. Can’t you read? ” Man: “ Well, you see, I am very short-sighted, and just as I was going to read it my spectacles folk into tho water, and 1 am looking for them now.” The diary of an American crook. Monday.—Killed three policemen. Escaped. Tuesday.—Shot a soldier. Escaped. Wednesday.—Knifed a gangster. Escaped. Thursday.—Shot up the town. Killed six men. Escaped. Friday.—Machine-gunned the mayor and City Council. Escaped. Saturday.—Stood in front of post office waiting to rob mail and kill postmaster. Arrested for loafing.